UPJOKE
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What is the proper term for a nation without coherent leadership?

Unpresidented

The United States is currently in an unpresidented situation.

A Joke my kid told me

A guy goes to buy a notebook at the stationery shop. He finds a good one wrapped in plastic for $10, so he takes it up to the counter. The cashier rings it up, but tells the guy no matter what, not to look at the last page. The guy thinks it’s an odd thing to say, but pays the $10 and takes the note...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Singing Blowjob [NSFW]

So this man go to a massage parlor to get a back massage. After the massage, the masseuse offered him a singing blow job. Intrigued, the man accepts. So the masseuse turned off the lights and started giving him a blowjob. Shortly after beginning she starts singing, in a clear and coherent manor. The...

Pearl Harbour 9/11'd Josh Hartnett's career.

Three disasters in seven words that make a fully coherent sentence. Can anyone do better?

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An active and successful widowed man finds himself at the end of his days in an upscale assisted living home.

His consoling and rich friends came to spend the last days with the man. While he was still coherent, they decide to hire him a hooker for a final hurrah.

They make the arrangements and the beautiful bubbly woman arrives at the nursing home for the assist a while later. She tells the man “Yo...

Three wishes

A tourist walks on a secluded beach and sees a disheveled woman in torn clothes and absolutely hysterical.
He calms her down so she is coherent and asks what happened.

She tells him that she found a sealed bottle, and when she removed the seal, a genie came out and said "You freed me after...

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The Voodoo Dick

A man enters a sex shop, looking for a new toy to keep his wife busy while he goes on business trips. As a higher-up in his corporation, he tends to be away from home several times a month, and wants to ensure his wife stays faithful.



When he reaches the counter, he's shocked to see ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a penguin's car breaks down...

It's a hot blistering day. Mr. Penguin just had a hard day at work, and desperately just wanted to get home, when he notices his car is making a strange sound.
*"I'd better bring this to the mechanics...this doesn't sound good."* He thinks to himself.

His car breaks down about 100 yards ...

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A graduate student in psychology

A psychology graduate student working at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate the mental condition of three patients in a local mental institution and assess their possibilities for reintegration into society.

The facility was well funded and nicer than the student ex...

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