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Conceivable Jokes

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A billionaire hires a painter of murals to come to his mansion…

…when he gets there, he calls the painter in into a large room and shows him a plain white wall that’s 20 feet high and 50 feet across. He says to the guy, “I’ve always been fascinated by General Custer so on this wall I want you paint your interpretation of Custer’s last stand. I’m going out of tow...

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Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of...

Highway to Hawaii

A man comes walking on the beach and finds a bottle. He picks it up and removes the stopper. Out of the bottle comes the Spirit of the Lamp. "Thank you for letting me out, I have been locked up for 140 years. I would like to give you the opportunity to have a wish fulfilled"

"Thank you, I've...

Two couples are playing cards at the table, and someone accidentally knocks them to the floor..

Two couples are playing cards at the table, and someone accidentally knocks them to the floor. One of the men goes under the table to pick up the cards, and as he looks up he can see up his friend's wife's dress and that she isn't wearing any underwear.

Blushing coming up from the table, he ...

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A Man Dies And Goes To Hell

He begins to cry.


Devil: why are you crying?


Man: I've been damned for all eternity.


Devil: oh it's not that bad, we spend our days living out life's sins. Do you like smoking?


Man: I love smoking.


Devil: well every Monday we smoke all sorts of ...

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The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O." So the bartender gives him water. The second chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O too." So the bartender also gives him water, because he knows what he meant and had no conceivable reason to be carrying hydrogen peroxide, much less to be giving it a...

Comdoms should be used

on ever conceivable occasion.

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The avid fisherman. NSFW

A man checks into the the office at a fishing lodge in the Scottish highlands. After being given the key to his cabin he asks that he be given a 6 am wakeup call because he wanted to get started as early as possible.

The next morning after a quick breakfast he strides out of his cabin and pas...

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Custer's last stand...

A rich woman from France purchased a mansion in America. The library had a wall that seem quite plain to her, so she commissioned an artist to paint a mural. To fit her new life in America, she decided that it should be a scene from American history. But not being to fond of American culture, she...

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