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Linkedin Jokes

LinkedIn is the worst dating app

All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation

My project manager posted in linkedin 'When I die,I want my developers to carry my coffin so that they can put me down one last time"

I commented on that post

"For the first time ,you have mentioned the requirements clearly".

I uninstalled Facebook as I got depressed seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage.

I uninstalled LinkedIn as I got depressed seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion.

I uninstalled instagram as I got depressed seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.

But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .

Linkedin influencers

No body:

LinkedIn Influencers:

Yesterday I was walking to an interview. There was a starving dog on the road. I stopped to feed him & missed the interview. The next day I got a call asking to come in to do the interview. I was surprised, but I went. Then the interviewer came in. H...

Linkedin is becoming like Facebook nowadays!!!

Except Hot women are sending connection requests to IT Nerds...

LinkedIn is like reverse dating site for IT nerds

They get a lot of messages from girls

But ignore most of them

“meta” mates

Facebook employees are now > Metamates.
LinkedIn > Inmates.
Amazon > Primates.
Tinder > Intimates.
ServiceNow > Nowmates.
Snowflake > Snowmates.
Postmates > Postmatemates.

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

I’m thinking of starting a band with some guys I met online

We’re gonna call ourselves LinkedIn Park

Where does Princess Zelda find her heroes?

Linkedin.

I'm going to start a metal band that writes songs about how important it is to connect with people in your professional network...

...and call it LinkedIn Park.

I'll show myself out now.

What do you get when you cross nu metal with professional networking?

LinkedIn Park

Which US president was the first to embrace professional social networks?

Abraham LinkedIn

Who was the best-connected president?

Abraham Linkedin!

Quasimodo needs a vacation.

He goes to the Dean of the cathedral and asks for a leave. He’s told taking time off is OK if he will arrange for someone to take his place temporarily. So Quasimodo posts a job on LinkedIn for a bell ringer.
Several people respond but the best candidates were a pair of twins. They were quite eag...

What is Zelda’s favorite app?

LinkedIn

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