UPJOKE
fallilluminationultravioletlight upsunglowcolorlightnessignitewavelengthbrightinfraredphotonspeed of lightred

What is the lightest sin a Muslim can commit?

Spelling marathon backwards.

It's *almost* not haram.

Why are European cars the lightest?

because there's no Americans sitting in them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the lightest thing in the world?

A penis, because even a thought can lift it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

which is the lightest of the United States?

MA. It has the mass of two shits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which is the lightest organ of the male human body ?

Penis. Because thoughts can lift it.

What’s the lightest a person can weigh

A skele-ton

Someone died at the gym and i was there to help carry the body

It was the lightest deadlift I've ever done.

An overweight criminal takes a lie detector test to prove his innocence.

This is the cops' last chance to prove his guilt.

They hook him up to the detector and tell him, "First we will ask you an obvious question and you must lie. If the machine registers your lie we will ask you about the crime and you will go to jail. If it does not you are free to leave."
...

A chemist walks into reddit

He does some research on certain posts and discovers that they are made up of atoms.

After some thought, he concludes that the posts at the top of r/all contain mostly hydrogen atoms, because hydrogen is the lightest element, so these posts naturally rise to the top. He decides to name these ...

A man sees an ad in the paper

The ad reads "Guaranteed program to help you get fit!"

The man thinks to himself "you know, I can stand to lose a few pounds" and calls the number. A man answers the phone and says "thank you for contacting us. We offer 3 plans. The first is our lightest plan and the third is our most intens...

Ed's father taught him how to ride a goat at a young age.

He showed him where the little saddle goes, and how to position the bridle.

Ed mastered the art of goat riding. The slightest pull from the reigns and the goat would stop. The lightest touch of the spurs on it's haunches and the goat would gallop full speed.

Ed named the goat Geronimo...

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.