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Woodsman Jokes

A man goes to an old woodsman to learn the secrets of tracking animals

A man goes to an old woodsman to learn the secrets of tracking animals. The woodsman agrees to teach him and takes him out into the forest.

A short ways in, the woodsman stops and crouches down to the ground. After a moment, he says, "A wolf came through here. An older male. Hunting alone." "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woodsman heads into town to buy supplies...

He fills his cart and heads to the counter.

Clerk: Anything else for ya?

Woodsman: Ya got any women?

Clerk: We don't have any women, but we got Old Jim.

Woodsman: I ain't into that shit.

So the woodsman heads back to his cabin. 3 months later he returns for suppl...

A woodsman walks into the woods

He finds a nice tree to chop down, and upon taking his axe the tree cries out
"WAIT! IM A MAGICAL TALKING TREE, DONT CUT ME DOWN"
He said "You maybe a talking tree but you will dialouge."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A terrorist group decides to hold a public castration of three villagers.

They ask to the first villager for his occupation. When he says that he's a woodsman they castrate him with an axe.

Then they ask to the second villager. Frightened, he says that he's a farmer. They castrate him with a sickle.

When the turn comes to the third villager they see that he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tin Man's Record Collection

I was in Oz visiting the Tin Woodsman' and I discovered his large record collection, I asked if I could flip through it. Awkwardly he said I could but warned me that he was ashamed of it. I shrugged it off and began flipping through, he had an album by every band I could think of, Stones, yup. Skyny...

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