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Klingon Jokes

What do you call a Klingon who is best friends with an expert in spacetime cracks?

A fissure-man's Worf.

Have you every heard the battle cry of a Klingon short order cook?

Perhaps today is a good day to fry!

My brother just started taking a Klingon literature course

He says it has its prose and Khans

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed.



My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when the Borg assimilate a Human, a Romulan, a Klingon, and a Ferengi.

A smorgasborg.

It's like my Klingon hairdresser said:

It's a good day to dye.

Where do Klingons store their leftovers?

Zip'loc!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the Star Ship Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They circle Uranus and pick up Klingons.


Note: This joke got me sent to the principals office when I was in elementary school some 35 years ago.

Where do Klingons buy their shoes?

Kahless ShoeSource

This joke was originally written in Klingon; I hope I've got the translation right...

A new prisoner named Andy arrived at the prison. Andy had never been in prison before, so everything was new and strange.

Before long he met Bob, who sort of showed him around, introduced him to a few other prisoners, and helped him start to learn the ropes.

That evening, when t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the star ship enterprise have in common with toilet paper?

They both chase Klingons around Uranus!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the dirtiest thing ever said on Startrek?

Sulu, circle Uranus and look for Klingons

What's the difference between a Starfleet captain and a Klingon?

Nobody got mad when a new series with a bald Starfleet captain aired

On Halloween, a werewolf went out dressed as a Klingon, but got lost

He's a Wear-Worf Where-Wolf

A survey revealed that People who speak more than one language are considered more attractive.

Unless that language is Klingon

What do you call an alien you can't get rid of?

A Klingon

Not to be a racist

But I feel the natural enemies of the Klingons shouldn't be humans it should be the Teflons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once promised one hundred virgins in afterlife if I lived my life correctly and humbly.

But it won’t be much fun, I don’t even speak Klingon. :(

I've noticed a lot of translated jokes lately, and wanted to try one myself

so here's one translated to Klingon:

'ar SuvwI' screw neH lightbulb tlhap 'oH?

chay' yong chaH pa' je wa'DIch Daq Sovlu'chugh vIneH!

Why do Star Trek fans never grow out of it?

They just Klingon to it

Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!"
Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!"
Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!"
Computer: "Insufficient data."

D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Space joke

Whats the similarity between Starship Enterprise and toiletpaper.

They both circling around Uranus looking for Klingons

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie.

They're all use to Klingons.

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