Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

What do all Star Trek captains have in common?

They all have three ears.


A left ear.

A right ear.

And a final frontier.

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention

They call it the enter prize.

The creator of Star Trek was renowned for emptying his bowels in obscure places.

He would boldly go where no man had gone before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

Heard this sub has a lot of Star Trek fans. Did you guys know that to cut down on costs, a lot of the cast and crew camped outside in tents while filming the outdoor scenes in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn? I just snagged one on eBay!

Yeah, so anyways - I thought you guys would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

A Star Trek fan meets William Shatner.

"Wow. I can't believe I'm meeting you at Comic Corn."

"Actually, it's called Comic Con"

"Com?"

"Con."

"Cold?"

"Com!

"Cookie?"

"CONNNNNNNN!"

Stand up Comedy on Star Trek

Yo mamma so fat… she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side

Joke I just thought up: What did the orphan say to the Star Trek fan thinking of adopting?

Bring me up, Scotty!

Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!"
Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!"
Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!"
Computer: "Insufficient data."

D...

I accidentally went to my first Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca.

Wookie mistake.

For Star Wars and Star Trek fans

A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room.

The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.

The red shirt dies anyway.

Did you hear about the Star Trek poetry night?

It has it's Prose and Khan's.

My Girlfriend is super obsessed with Star Trek...

So one day we went rock climbing and we were talking about species, I asked her: "How many can you name?" She gave me a grin and said "Roluman, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Borg..." She got preoccupied and fell to the bottom of the cliff. "You forgot to Kling-On!"

Ricardo Montalban struggled to find acting roles after "Star Trek 2."

Nobody wanted to hire an ex-Khan.

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.

The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee.

hahahha

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?

Dad: Cause it's the future son

I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2

Turns out the seller was a Kahn man

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

Where do Star Trek fans work out?

At the He's Dead Gym.

I had to break up with my girlfriend, she doesn't like Star Trek.

I told her I need some space.

I visited a load of French towns doing impressions of Star Trek characters.

Dunkirk?

Yea, did all of them.

For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England?

"Thar be Wales here!"

I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation...

I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!

It always amuses me to think what must have happened in Star Trek over the next three hundred years for a Frenchman like Picard to have an English accent...

And not an Arabic one.

My 10 y.o. son cracked this joke on the driving range today.

I sliced the hell out of the ball. My son watched it land, turned to me and said, "that ball was like Star Trek Voyager ... way off course."

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Trek

Pakistani President Mr. Zardari just finished giving a speech at the UN, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Obama. They shook hands and walked together in the long corridor when suddenly the Pakistani said,
"You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."...

Star Trek Discovery is going to have a female lead which will ruin the series.

The male captains wandered around aimlessly getting into trouble.

She will just ask for directions and head straight to the destination.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anyth...

I don't always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans...

but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They should make Star Trek toilet paper...

...so you can help wipe Klingons off Uranus.

(been a while since this one's been around. Just heard it again today from my 5 year old niece)

Wife: do you know why our son won’t wear the red shirt I laid out for him?

**Me:** nope.

[flashback to watching Star Trek]

**Me:** so the guy in the red shirt *always* dies.

No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie.

They're all use to Klingons.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?

To boldly split infinitives!

To Boldly Go...

“My friend had a disastrous date last night... apparently the guy was into giving golden showers. He was a big actor, too, one of the Star Trek guys.”

“Shatner??”

“No, I think she left before he could get to that.”

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says t...

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