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Star Trek Jokes

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

What do all Star Trek captains have in common?

They all have three ears.


A left ear.

A right ear.

And a final frontier.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

Where do Star Trek fans work out?

At the He's Dead Gym.

Where do you keep your badge at a Star Trek convention?

On a Lanyard Nimoy

Stand up Comedy on Star Trek

Yo mamma so fat… she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side

I'm a bipolar Star Trek fan.

I just went to the hospital to have my dilithium level checked.

A Star Trek fan meets William Shatner.

"Wow. I can't believe I'm meeting you at Comic Corn."

"Actually, it's called Comic Con"

"Com?"

"Con."

"Cold?"

"Com!

"Cookie?"

"CONNNNNNNN!"

For Star Wars and Star Trek fans

A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room.

The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.

The red shirt dies anyway.

My wife said she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek.

So I said, "Number Two, make it so!"

Have you heard about the new Star Trek Christmas movie?

It’s The Wreath of Khan

Q. Why does this Star Trek uniform stink?

A. William Shatner

I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.

It was a Wookie mistake.

My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships.

And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.

Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!"
Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!"
Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!"
Computer: "Insufficient data."

D...

I like Star Trek...

...But it has its' pros and Khans!

The creator of Star Trek was renowned for emptying his bowels in obscure places.

He would boldly go where no man had gone before.

An Avatar: The Last Airbender and Star Trek crossover?

ATLAST!

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention

They call it the enter prize.

I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...

It was a Wookie mistake

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.

The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.

Ricardo Montalban struggled to find acting roles after "Star Trek 2."

Nobody wanted to hire an ex-Khan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Trek

Pakistani President Mr. Zardari just finished giving a speech at the UN, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Obama. They shook hands and walked together in the long corridor when suddenly the Pakistani said,
"You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."...

What's Gillian McKeith's favourite part of Star Trek

Captain's Log

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My conservative Christian parents sent me to one of those massive youth group events that celebrates how cool it is to be a virgin

Joke's on them, I went to the Star Trek convention next door instead

I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation...

I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!

I don't always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans...

but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies

I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2

Turns out the seller was a Kahn man

Joke I just thought up: What did the orphan say to the Star Trek fan thinking of adopting?

Bring me up, Scotty!

Heard this sub has a lot of Star Trek fans. Did you guys know that to cut down on costs, a lot of the cast and crew camped outside in tents while filming the outdoor scenes in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn? I just snagged one on eBay!

Yeah, so anyways - I thought you guys would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

My 10 y.o. son cracked this joke on the driving range today.

I sliced the hell out of the ball. My son watched it land, turned to me and said, "that ball was like Star Trek Voyager ... way off course."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anyth...

Most Star Trek fans aren't big into poetry, so I knew that writing and publishing a book of Trek-themed poems would be risky but rewarding.

The project had its prose and Khans.

I visited a load of French towns doing impressions of Star Trek characters.

Dunkirk?

Yea, did all of them.

For Star Trek fans. A Romulan man, a Ferengi businessman, a ravishing Human woman and a homely Bajoran are sharing a compartment on an old train as it makes its way through the mountains.

Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Ferengi is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The Bajoran thinks "I bet that dirty...

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee.

hahahha

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?

Dad: Cause it's the future son

The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women’s lingerie.

But no one would invest in Shatner Panties.

(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)

For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England?

"Thar be Wales here!"

Star Trek Discovery is going to have a female lead which will ruin the series.

The male captains wandered around aimlessly getting into trouble.

She will just ask for directions and head straight to the destination.

What's the difference between a Cardassian and a Kardashian?

One is a vicious, opportunistic race, bent on subjugation and domination through whatever insidious and ethically-questionable means they have at hand.

The other is a fictional race from Star Trek.

Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?

A list of prose in Khans.

In honor of his being the first 90 year old in space, I’m going as the Star Trek Cleveland Steamer for Halloween

Just as soon as I perfect my William Shatner chest costume.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?

To boldly split infinitives!

What's the most interesting beer served at the star trek swingers convention?

Dos trekkies.

Stupid TV Trivia- Here are some of mine- post your own!

Did you see "Gilligan’s Island" that time when they almost got rescued?

Remember that "Star Trek" episode when they met those aliens?

Did you catch "Jersey Shore" when they got drunk and had that fight?

How about "The Bachelorette" episode when she cried.

Did you see t...

To Boldly Go...

“My friend had a disastrous date last night... apparently the guy was into giving golden showers. He was a big actor, too, one of the Star Trek guys.”

“Shatner??”

“No, I think she left before he could get to that.”

panties

Captain James T Kirk of Star Trek fame has launched his own range of women’s underwear, the bras are selling well, but it appears that nobody wants to buy a brand of underwear named

“Shatner Panties”.

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says t...

It always amuses me to think what must have happened in Star Trek over the next three hundred years for a Frenchman like Picard to have an English accent...

And not an Arabic one.

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