Just About Jokes - 17 Hilarious Just About Jokes

A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I ...

They say ductedtape and WD40 can fix just about any problem

Well last week when I was constipated the WD40 was great, but the ductape only made matters worse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf...

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, hon...

God was just about done creating all the world's creatures

...when he noticed a hundred tiny legs sitting on the ground. He gave them all to one creature.

Centipede: "YESSSSSS!!!!!!!

Worm: "Dude, seriously??"

I was just about to go on a blind date with a female roofer

But her fascia turned me off

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn are just about to be executed.

The Finn is first and he's given a choice of how he's going to be killed. He chooses the guillotine. But then when they try to behead him the machine broke and they let him go free. As he walks off he whispers to the Norwegian and the Swede: "pick the guillotine, it's broken!" So the Norwegian, who ...

During an argument with her husband, a wife was just about to calm down.

But then her husband asked her to calm down...

A man hired a painter and was just about to pay him.

The painter said it was on the house.

Remember when jokes weren't just about nostalgia ?

Those were the days.

A doctor is just about to perform surgery

So, a doctor is just about to perform surgery.

Doctor: Relax, David. It's just a small surgery. Don't panic.

Patient: My name is not David.

Doctor: I know. I am David.

You can buy, sell, or swap just about anything on the Gumtree website. I recently got a motorbike for my wife

Good trade, would recommend, 10/10

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God was just about finished creating Adam and Eve...

...and told them "Okay guys, I've got two attributes left to give you--one for each of you. I'm going to let you choose which you each want. The first is, you get to pee standing up."

Adam jumps on that one right away. God says, "are you sure? You haven't heard the second one yet!" to wh...

the explanation of just about every jewish holiday

they tried to kill us
they failed
lets eat

I was just about to make a chemistry joke for a bit of karma

but all the good ones argon.

I was just about to watch Armageddon on Netflix, when my subscription expired.

"Ah well," I thought. "It's not the end of the world."

What did the chicken say to the duck who was just about to cross the road?

"Don't do it bro, you will never hear the end of it..."

Did you know that a Siberian Tiger can absolutely devour a 7-year-old girl in just about 45 seconds?

Anyways, I lost my job at the petting zoo, today...

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