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Ev Jokes

Just Bought the new Dodge Hornet EV and ended up with two cars

Dealer said I also needed a Dodge Charger

What country loves EVs?

Madagascar

Mad a(t) gas car

Volkswagen and Toyota are building an EV for the current generation

It will be called ID. Yota

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

Hummer is launching an EV,

Iron-E..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Iris‌‌h daughte‌‌r ha‌‌d no‌‌t bee‌‌n hom‌‌e fo‌‌r ove‌‌r ‌‌5 years‌‌. When she returned, he‌‌r Fathe‌‌r curse‌‌d he‌‌r heavily‌‌.

"Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn'‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌"
‌‌
Th‌‌e girl‌‌, crying‌‌, replied‌‌, "Dad..‌‌. ‌‌I beca...

I asked an EV driver what music he liked

He said AC/DC

Bob left work Jokes ;)

Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours...

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolate?

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope excla...

BeSt FaThEr EvEr

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Doug, please?" "No, there's no one called Doug here," says the person who answered the pho...

What do you call a child's Pokemon team consisting of 6 EV trained Dittos?

A Youngster's Roster of Fostered Imposters

When people write liKe tHIs i alwayS hopE to fiNd hiDdeN clUes. Don't evEr Seem to find any tHOugh.

Epstien didn't kill himself.

At the border, a man drives up on his bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack.

Customs officer: "Do you have something to declare?"

Man: "No."

Customs officer: "And what do you have in the sack?"

Man: "Sand."

During the check it turns out: actually sand.

Every day for a whole week the man comes with the bike and the sack on the luggage rack. ...

A horse in a barn was listening to some rock and roll on the radio...

And he was inspired. The guitarist was masterful, and the horse knew, then and there, that he needed to play guitar. More than anything he'd ever needed before.

So he calls up his buddy, who is a guitar teacher, and asks his buddy to help him learn guitar. The horse takes to it quickly and p...

What is Bill Nye's real name?

William New Year's Eve

The first joke in History

Adam and Eve are walking around the Garden of Eden.

Eve tells Adam what appears to be the world’s first ever joke. It’s a good joke, but Adam doesn’t laugh.

Eve asks “didn’t you like my joke?”

Adam says “nah, I’ve already seen it posted and reposted several times on r/joke...

My pastor always says "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". I found a solution though. Eve and Steve just need to take a turn together!



That would make it Eve 'n Steven.

Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage...

...he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the food his mom made.

I'm so sick of all these REPOSTS

For 25 years I have been working day and night to find the originator of the first joke. I think I may have found it in the original Hebrew Bible.

Adam spoketh to Eve and said, "Now see the mess thou has got us into. I should never have listened to you."

Eve replied, "How the hell was ...

In the beginning...

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?

God said, "Go down Into that valley."

Adam said, 'What's a valley?'

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, 'What's a river?'
...

The Creation of Woman

\[Yes, I know, it's been posted before, I can't help it.\]

Adam was moping around in the Garden of Eden. Suddenly a light flashed and there was the Lord.

"What's the matter, Adam?"

Adam replied: "I'm lonely. There is nobody to talk to around here except that slimy serpent who ...

Why did the one-armed man go to the mall on Christmas Eve?

To visit the secondhand shop.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.

‘They must have been English,’ declared the Englishman. Only a gentleman would share his first apple with a woman.’

‘They were undoubtedly French,’ said the Frenchman. ‘Who else could seduce a woman so easily?’

‘I think they were Russians,’ said the Russian. ‘After all, who else could ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three nuns die and come before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

Peter welcomes them and says that they need to answer a biblical question to be admitted into Heaven. He says to the first nun, “Who was the first man?” The nun replies, “Why that would be Adam”. St Peter pushes a button and ding-ding-ding, the gates open and she goes in. Bong-bong-bong and the gate...

When God created Adam and Eve...

He said to them: I have two gifts to give you one is to do pee standing up and...

Adam, very anxious, interrupted him screaming: M E... M E...I want it, please Lord... please... please... please... This would make life a lot easier!

Eve agreed and said those things didn’t matter to her...

Little Johnny joke

Little Johnny is sitting in class behind a girl named April the teacher asked who created the universe Little Johnny poked April with his pencil and April yelled MY GOD The teacher replied with yes God did create the universe then the teacher asked another question where do you go when you live a ...

Adam is in the Garden of Eden...

Adam is in the Garden of Eden when he finds himself quite lonely.

He calls upon God, and asks him "Lord almighty, may you find me company here?"

God, in his infinite kindness, responds "Of course my child, I shall create a being to accompany you. The being will be beautiful, intelligen...

What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

"It's Christmas, Eve."

A man and his son run a carpentry business out in the countryside…

They do small jobs here and there, mostly on farms and ranches, fixing up barns and building pens for farm animals. The father eventually wants his son to take over the business and has tried to teach him the ins and outs of woodworking, along with other important lessons he thinks that every carpen...

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