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Irritates Jokes

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A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."


He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.


They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."


She's there at 6:30 am. sharp ...

Watching people write left-handed really irritates me.

It’s just not right.

You know what really irritates me?

The Inflammatory reaction.

It irritates me that I never win the lottery

Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets.

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[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

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When people use the wrong homonyms it irritates me

I know the pane, I've been their before.

My mom's late for everything, and it irritates the hell out of me.

For example, last week she drove me to an abortion clinic.

Just found out I have irritable vowel syndrome...

Every time “U” tell me “I” have to do something it irritates the $h*t out of me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can we take the "er" out of "Butterscotch"

No we can't, because "Buttscotch" irritates the assholes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate coffee

It irritates the shit out of me.

“Little Notes “-Neil Simon, ‘The Odd Couple’

Oscar Madison: Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here the things I know you’re going to do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. I told you a hundred times, I can’t stand little notes on my pillow. ‘We’re all out of Corn Flakes, F.U.’ It took me thre...

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