UPJOKE
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Untrue Jokes

Its untrue that most women want to get married.

I've asked loads and they've all said no.

My dog can talk. He talks in his sleep and has said some things about me (that my wife has heard) that are untrue.

Proving you should NOT let sleeping dogs lie!

I have an Asian friend who never says anything untrue.

Literal Lee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My roommate claims that he caught me with a sex doll.

This is completely untrue and slanderous. He caught me with a sex action figure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So these Americans are in Budapest and they notice all the Germans looking for prostitutes

So these two americans are in budapest and they notice how it's all germans looking to hire prostitutes
And one of the americans says "these germans are into some weird stuff, that guy over there probably paid some poor hungarian girl 30 euros to take a shit on her chest"
And the german t...

3 guys at an archaeology conference

The first two guys are normal but the third one is from a place where people are silly, or at least that's the stereotype. Of course stereotypes are untrue and hurtful, but I need it for this joke to work.

Anyway, the first guy says, "We dug down 100 meters and discovered copper cables. This ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady walks into a bank...

...with $10,000 in cash and says that she would like to deposit it into an account. The male banker asks her where in the world she got $10,000.
"Oh, I'm just really good at making bets," says the old lady.

"really, you made all this money from betting?" asks the banker.

"Yep," sai...

In Mother Russia

A man asked his Russian friend: "Is it true that in Russia, sometimes you can see polar bears walking on the roads?"
His friend replied: "No, no my friend, that is completely untrue. Back in Mother Russia, there is absolutely no such thing as "roads"."

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