What do you call a self-contradictory idiot from Australia?

An "Aussie-Moron"

I’m paradoxical and contradictory,

I hate redundancy and repetition.

There are many contradictory statements like...

Pacifist mass murder, Clinton keeping emails, and Apple is innovative.

Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?

"Follow Your Dreams."

-Freddy Kreuger, 2016

How many contradictory Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nein.

Amazing Team Player

The interviewer calls the candidate for the interview.

The candidate enters and gives his resume. The interviewer takes a look and mentions that he is going to peruse through it.

The interviewer starts reading through the projects and sees that he single-handedly led all his teams. He ...

Some interesting Oxymorons :)

An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-

1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
...

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