What is it called when you touch a couch inappropriately?
Sectional assault.
Just got back from the doctor... he said I can touch myself inappropriately whenever I want to!
Wife: Grabs report "This says you could have a stroke at any time"
Thin Mints are very inappropriately named.
No matter how many I eat, I never get thin.
A: Are you the one responsible for using word contractions inappropriately?
B: I'm.
Today I inappropriately touched and propositioned several female coworkers...
It's all good though. I said "No Cuomo"
What do you call someone who touches cereal inappropriately?
A chex offender
My wife left me because I kept touching pasta
inappropriately...
Now I'm feeling cannelloni
My boss touched me inappropriately at work today.
It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya
Sheesh with all the #metoo allegations, if I had a dollar for every time someone said I acted inappropriately
I could just about pay off the court costs, legal fees, civil suits, and penalties from my behavior.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A nun, a hot blonde, a German and a Frenchman are sitting in a train compartment.
They don‘t know each other and are minding their own business. The train drives into a tunnel and it gets so dark in the compartment that you could not see your own hand in front of your eyes.
Suddenly a violently loud slapping noise rips into the silence. When the train leaves the tunnel ev...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
3 people die and end up in hell...
The first was an alcoholic, the second was a womanizer, the 3rd was a pothead.
Satan spoke: "Your punishment for squandering your lives on addiction is simple. What you valued the most in your life will be provided to you in infinite supply, however, you will remain with only your vice in a l...
Whoever wins the Mega Millions Jackpot....
… touched me inappropriately 30 years ago.
I told my girlfriend that sometimes she makes me feel like a kid again.
She asked why and I said
Because you touch me inappropriately when I'm pretending to be asleep.
What do my date last night and this question have in common.
They were both ended inappropriately by a period.
Love is sweet and sour.
Love is a funny thing. One minute you're thinking "Wow, so this is what true love feels like", and the next minute you're banned for "eating Chick Fil A sauce inappropriately".
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