UPJOKE
friendshipplaypretendfriendphenomenonfriendlessamigobuddypalsocialogychumconfidantcronybefriendfriendsome

Imaginary Friend Jokes

I have an imaginary friend, but he keeps making fun of me.

He keeps saying, “At least I have a real friend.”

When I was a child I had many imaginary friends.

They were real people... I just imagined they were my friends.

A child with an imaginary friend is normal

An adult with an imaginary friend is strange,

And a group of people with an imaginary friend is called religion.

My wife and I went to see a psychiatrist. "What can I do for you?" he asked. "Our son has got an imaginary friend." said my wife.

"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.

"We haven't got a son." I replied.

Did you ever have an imaginary friend? Why yes, I did! Really? What was his name?

Dad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Imaginary Friend.

I once had an invisible friend from Japan.


My mum said it was just my imagine Asian..

My imaginary friend is spending the night.

So I made up a bed for him.

I used to have an imaginary friend.

Then I quit going to church.

I always hang out with my imaginary friend.

People used to think I'm crazy talking to myself in public.

But everything is fine now; I wear airpods.

My imaginary friend's coming to stay tonight

So I’ve made up a bed for him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my Imaginary Friend if we could ever have sex, and do you know what she said?

"In your dreams."

My doctor said that I should go on antipsychotics,

But my imaginary friend told me not to.

My Mum gave me a right earful and a lecture about having an imaginary friend, after that she said get your coat: I said why where are we going? She replied.

Church:

I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend

He was a size 10i

I've been spending the vast majority of my time completely alone over the last 4 months...

I don't think I'm going crazy, but my imaginary friend tells me I may have a drinking problem.

I think my German buddy has an imaginary friend

He keeps asking me if I "See Kyle"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.

If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you d...

I was never good with people.

Even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street.

Are you tired of only having imaginary friends?

Just multiply them by the square root of negative one. Then you'll have real friends!

Estate planning

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Spent all morning with my estate planning lawyer working on my will," he tells the bartender. "Turns out I can't leave all my money to an imaginary friend. Unless they have a church."

A behavioral scientist confronts her lab's receptionist:

'For the last time, I'm analyzing simulated populations. Not "playing with my imaginary friends"!'

(Shamelessly plagiarized from New Scientist)

Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane?

I'm asking for an imaginary friend.

Religious wars to an atheist's standpoint

are just people fighting over who has the better imaginary friend

I made a real friend today

I multiplied my imaginary friend by sqrt(-1).

Today my dad asked what I was talking to

"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"

yo mama is

Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.

ln(x) is hosting a calculus party....

and all the functions are invited. Some of them are radical, at least 1/3 of them are rational, and like all parties, there are a few odd ones talking to their imaginary friends. Amidst all of this revelry, ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend e^x sulking in a corner.
...

I'm not upset

It's fine that my imaginary friends decided to go see a movie and not invite me. We don't have to do everything together. But why couldn't they walk or take the bus instead of borrowing my car?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.