Did you ever have an imaginary friend? Why yes, I did! Really? What was his name?


I used to have an imaginary friend.

Then I quit going to church.

I have an imaginary friend, but he keeps making fun of me.

He keeps saying, “At least I have a real friend.”

When I was a child I had many imaginary friends.

They were real people... I just imagined they were my friends.

I always hang out with my imaginary friend.

People used to think I'm crazy talking to myself in public.

But everything is fine now; I wear airpods.

Everyone has imaginary friends during their childhood.

My grandmother, although very old, still has one.
She calls him Jesus.

A child with an imaginary friend is normal

An adult with an imaginary friend is strange,

And a group of people with an imaginary friend is called religion.

My imaginary friend's coming to stay tonight

So I’ve made up a bed for him

What do you call adults with imaginary friends?


My wife and I went to see a psychiatrist. "What can I do for you?" he asked. "Our son has got an imaginary friend." said my wife.

"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.

"We haven't got a son." I replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my Imaginary Friend if we could ever have sex, and do you know what she said?

"In your dreams."

I think my German buddy has an imaginary friend

He keeps asking me if I "See Kyle"

My Mum gave me a right earful and a lecture about having an imaginary friend, after that she said get your coat: I said why where are we going? She replied.


I've been spending the vast majority of my time completely alone over the last 4 months...

I don't think I'm going crazy, but my imaginary friend tells me I may have a drinking problem.

Religious wars to an atheist's standpoint

are just people fighting over who has the better imaginary friend

I was never good with people.

Even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street.

Are you tired of only having imaginary friends?

Just multiply them by the square root of negative one. Then you'll have real friends!

I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend

He was a size 10i

I made a real friend today

I multiplied my imaginary friend by sqrt(-1).

I'm not upset

It's fine that my imaginary friends decided to go see a movie and not invite me. We don't have to do everything together. But why couldn't they walk or take the bus instead of borrowing my car?

Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane?

I'm asking for an imaginary friend.

I went to a lawyer to change my will today, but it turns out, I can't leave all my money…

…to an imaginary friend, unless they have a church…

yo mama is

Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.

Today my dad asked what I was talking to

"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"

ln(x) is hosting a calculus party....

and all the functions are invited. Some of them are radical, at least 1/3 of them are rational, and like all parties, there are a few odd ones talking to their imaginary friends. Amidst all of this revelry, ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend e^x sulking in a corner.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.