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Heart Disease Jokes

Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s.

Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the masturbating guy with heart disease?

I heard he died of a stroke.

Heart disease is the leading killer in America

We need a salt weapon ban.

My next joke is called heart disease.

Statistically 2/3 of you won't get it.

You sure I don't have heart disease, doc?

You sure I don't have heart disease, doc?

Of course not. Your heart will last as long as you live.

I suffer from a heart disease that only afflicts liars.

IFib

Q: What do you call a rock band with heart disease?

A: The Strokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with heart disease suspected his wife was cheating on him...

So he came home from work early one day to find the door locked so he unlocked it and walked in, all he found was his wife and laying in bed naked.

He lit his cigarette and took a look out the window to see a young man running out of the door pulling his pants up, the man picks up the mini fr...

Doctor said I have Good news and Bad News. I said I just want the good news right now.

He said I will have a heart disease named after me.

A charity collector paid a visit to the town miser.

"I know you made a profit of more than $500,000 last year alone. Yet you haven't made one donation to our charity!" he berated the miser.

The miser looked up in anger.
"Well, did you also know about my elderly mother, who is currently undergoing an expensive, prolonged treatment for her he...

What’s the plural of bacon?

Heart disease

Your momma is so fat..

That she really needs to make an immediate lifestyle change. Heart disease is the number one killer in America. There is no better time than now to make a change before it’s too late.

A guy has 2 dying friends...

A guy has two close friends, Fin and Scott. Fin has a heart disease and Scott had a major stroke.both of them thought they were done for.

Jake, who is the guy in this story, receives the news that they have both sadly passed away, and either one left a section for him in their will.

F...

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A man walks into the doctor's office for a check up.

The man is new in town and it's his first time in the clinic. The doctor starts by checking the man's blood pressure.

Doc: Have you any history of heart disease in your family?

Man: Yes, actually. My father suffered a number of heart attacks.

The doctor reaches for his stethosc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two dead women souls met while flying to the sky..

The first one asks the other, how did you die? She answers, I died from freezing in the cold, what about you ? The first one says, well, I drove back home and saw my husband getting inside with a girl, so I quietly followed them in, but when I opened door I couldn't find the bitch. So I was furiousl...

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