My daughter asked me, “What do ballerinas wear?”, and I did not remember.
I feel bad that I couldn’t put tu and tu together.
A Russian had a talking parrot that constantly trashed Putin. When the man's friends came over he'd take out the parrot and bird would stuff like "Putin is a moron", "Putin without a shirt looks like a ballerina", and "Putin cannot swim cuz sh!t floats". one day banging on the door, "KGB open up!"
The man panics and hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB ransack the house and can't find the parrot. After they leave the man takes the parrot out of the freezer and says "you see how stupid the government is". The parrot shaking start saying "Putin is a genius", and "Putin is the best democrati...
Thw detective knew immediately which ballerina was the killer.
Because guilty feet have got no rhythm.
What day of the year is a ballerina’s favorite?
So a French lady walks into a bar.
She takes off her jacket and sits down at the bar and she’s got the bushiest nest of armpit hair you’ve ever seen. She tries to wave down the bartender.
A drunk at the other end of the bar says, “Bartender! Get the ballerina a drink!” and the bartender looks over at her and asks the drunk, “H...
If dancers have two eyes then what do ballerinas have?
Why are ballerinas so vigilant?
They are always kept on their toes.
Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts
They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It's the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.
How can you tell if a ballerina hasn't taken a bath in while?
She does a split and sticks to the floor.
Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?
So they don’t wake up the audience!
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar in Dublin ... She raises her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as says to the people sitting at the bar "What man here will buy a woman a drink? The bar went quiet as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the...
I like to randomly throw things at ballerinas.
Keeps them on their toes.
A ballerina stretches her legs out on the bar.
The bartender says "That's really impressive, but you still have to pay".
How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses.
I just put two and two together.
How does the footless ballerina twirl around?
What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week
This woman, who has never shaved her armpits, is sitting in a bar...
This woman is sitting in a bar, wearing some sort of tube top. She has never shaved her armpits in her entire life, so, as a result, she has a thick black bush under each arm. Every twenty minutes, she raises her arm up and flags the bartender for another drink.
This goes on all night. The ot...
A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..
She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."
This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the...
A fat lady walks into a bar.
She raise her arm showing off her hairy armpits and says “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” A drunk guy in the back says “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”
This goes on a few more times. “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.” ...
A woman wearing a dirty basketball jersey walks into a bar. She lifts her arm, showing everyone her hairy armpit. "Would any of you men like to buy me a beer?" she asks.
One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!"
The bartender says, "Look, sir, I have met many women over the years. Some were more tomboyish than girly, others more girly than tomboyish, but none as tomboyish as this woman. For example, ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle
I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot.
Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic...
A woman with extremely hairy armpits decides to wear a sleeveless dress.
She enters a bus and, finding no seats, is forced to hold the railing on top with the other standing passengers.
A drunk man was standing next to her. "I really admire you ballerinas, you know.“
Confused, she responds," Why would you think I'm a ballerina?“
“It's obvious, " says...
A woman walks into a bar
and very loudly asks for a drink. She glares at the men drinking there, raises her arm and points around the bar. "Is there a gentleman here who'll buy a lady a drink?"
When she raises her arm, it is obvious she neither showers nor shaves her armpits. Most of the men look away, but one little...
This woman walks into a bar.
She has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down raises her arm and says,"Bartender I would like a drink." Theres an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring he says,"Barkeep I would like to buy the ballerina a drink." She accepts,drinks it,raises her arm again to get...
The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father on his way home suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the salesperson, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shoppi...
What’s red and white and can’t turn around in an elevator?
A ballerina with a javelin through her head.