UPJOKE
balletdancerprima ballerinachoreographerdivasoloistdanseusetangogeishaballet dancercourtesansopranobolshoimezzoingenue

I never get into arguments with ballerinas

they always have a strong point

My daughter asked me, “What do ballerinas wear?”, and I did not remember.

I feel bad that I couldn’t put tu and tu together.

Ballerina

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. Bu...

A Russian had a talking parrot that constantly trashed Putin. When the man's friends came over he'd take out the parrot and bird would stuff like "Putin is a moron", "Putin without a shirt looks like a ballerina", and "Putin cannot swim cuz sh!t floats". one day banging on the door, "KGB open up!"

The man panics and hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB ransack the house and can't find the parrot. After they leave the man takes the parrot out of the freezer and says "you see how stupid the government is". The parrot shaking start saying "Putin is a genius", and "Putin is the best democrati...

What do to call it when a ballerina kicks someone in the balls?

A nutcracker!

Thw detective knew immediately which ballerina was the killer.

Because guilty feet have got no rhythm.

What day of the year is a ballerina’s favorite?

2/2

Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?

So they don’t wake up the audience!

Why are ballerinas so vigilant?

They are always kept on their toes.

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

This woman, who has never shaved her armpits, is sitting in a bar...

This woman is sitting in a bar, wearing some sort of tube top. She has never shaved her armpits in her entire life, so, as a result, she has a thick black bush under each arm. Every twenty minutes, she raises her arm up and flags the bartender for another drink.

This goes on all night. The ot...

How can you tell if a ballerina hasn't taken a bath in while?

She does a split and sticks to the floor.

If dancers have two eyes then what do ballerinas have?

Two too.

I like to randomly throw things at ballerinas.

Keeps them on their toes.

If a firefighter has 2 eyes, then what does a ballerina have?

Two, too

How does the footless ballerina twirl around?

Widdershins.

I just found out what ballerinas call their dresses.

I just put two and two together.

What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week

Tu-Tu Tuesday

A fat lady walks into a bar.

She raise her arm showing off her hairy armpits and says “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” A drunk guy in the back says “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”

This goes on a few more times. “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”
...

How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two twos.

This woman walks into a bar.

She has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits.
She sits down raises her arm and says,"Bartender I would like a drink."
Theres an old drunk sitting next to her.
Slurring he says,"Barkeep I would like to buy the ballerina a drink."
She accepts,drinks it,raises her arm again to get...

A woman walks into a bar

and very loudly asks for a drink. She glares at the men drinking there, raises her arm and points around the bar. "Is there a gentleman here who'll buy a lady a drink?"

When she raises her arm, it is obvious she neither showers nor shaves her armpits. Most of the men look away, but one little...

A woman with extremely hairy armpits decides to wear a sleeveless dress.

She enters a bus and, finding no seats, is forced to hold the railing on top with the other standing passengers.

A drunk man was standing next to her. "I really admire you ballerinas, you know.“

Confused, she responds," Why would you think I'm a ballerina?“

“It's obvious, " says...

A woman with hairy armpits enters a bar..

She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."

This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the...

A woman wearing a dirty basketball jersey walks into a bar. She lifts her arm, showing everyone her hairy armpit. "Would any of you men like to buy me a beer?" she asks.

One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!"

The bartender says, "Look, sir, I have met many women over the years. Some were more tomboyish than girly, others more girly than tomboyish, but none as tomboyish as this woman. For example, ...

A drunk man gets into the bus and sees a woman who doesn't like to shave her armpits..

Then, the drunk man started to stare at her and yell :

" Ballerina, ballerina ! "

After some time, she got mad and said :

" I'm not a ballerina, why on earth you are saying this ?"

He answered :

"Oh you aren't ? So how is your leg up like this ?"

What’s red and white and can’t turn around in an elevator?

A ballerina with a javelin through her head.

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father on his way home suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the salesperson, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shoppi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle

I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot.


Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic...

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