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Flexibility Jokes

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts

They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It's the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.

What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?

E-Reptile Disc Function

I was going to make a pun about flexibility

I decided not to because it was too much of a stretch.

I went to a flexibility class that teaches you how to go up and down.

It's yoyoga

I was confused as to why my interviewer gave me a blank stare when I told her my best quality was my flexibility..

I guess she's never seen a man put both his legs behind his head before.

A gorgeous blonde is trying to board a city bus...

but her dress is so tight, it won't allow her to lift her leg high enough to reach the first step. She reaches back and unzips the dress a few inches to allow more flexibility. She tries again, but it still isn't enough. She unzips a little more, starting to worry that she'll give the people behind ...

You have to admit, Apple is being treated unfairly after the recent news about the iPhone 6+...

They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.

You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warning

being able to suck your own cock doesn't impress employers when they're looking for flexibility.

Series of Cheesy Jungle Jokes

I always like to tell these in a series. I also like to milk jokes (drag them out a little longer than you would expect) so prepare for the cheese. There's a little flexibility in how you tell these jokes, and if you have any other jokes about jungle animals you can mix them in, but some of the orde...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Average Day in Heaven

God realizes that Heaven is getting pretty crowded and needs a little time for it to settle down so he can add some additions. He tells St. Peter "Don't let anyone in unless their last day was **really** shitty"

Right after this happens, a man walks up and St. Peter asks him about his last da...

I wanted to take up yoga.

I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said "what's your flexibility like?" I said "I can't do Tuesdays".

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