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Shredder Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," says the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"

"Sure," the young executive says.

He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button.

"Excellent, e...

My faithful old shredder has finally given up the ghost after 15 years without a single problem.

I'm tearing up here.

Shredder finally defeated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All he had to do is to throw a box of plastic straws to the sewer system.

The CEO of the largest paper shredder company in the world just died.

rip.

Shredder

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.
"Need some help?" a secretary asked.
"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"
"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"

Why do the Ninja Turtles attack Shredder 4 on 1?

Because their master is a rat.

Philip was a junior office assistant at a large company.

Keen to make a good impression on his boss, he often stayed up late working. One evening, he was just about to head home when he saw his boss standing in front of the shredder holding a document.

"Ah, Philip, I'm glad to see you're still here working hard at this time. Now, I was wondering i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

so the new boss is a total ass

doesnt like anyone. I see him standing one late evening by the shredder. staring at it. looking where the buttons are. struggling to see how it works. I decide to help him. get in his good books you know. I ask him can I help, he says yes please with puppy dog eyes. I put the stack of papers in the ...

Despite their best intentions...

Owning a personal paper shredder says a lot about a person

The worst pain

Guys are sitting in a bar arguing about who has experienced the worst pain.

Bob says "I once dropped the cheese shredder, and it shredded the skin on my leg as it fell"

Dave says, "oh I can top that- I slipped cutting wood and drove the chain saw into my ankle".

John says "nah,...

I spotted one of the new blue USPS mailboxes in my town today.

It looks almost identical to the old model but it's a little taller because it incorporates a shredder.

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?

They always destroy the shredder.

A young manager was finishing up late at work

When he was leaving there was only one other person in the office.
He noticed it was the owner of the company standing by a Shredder with a sheet of paper looking confused.
He approached him and asked if he was alright.
The owner said "my secretary has gone home and she always does these t...

What do Banksy and TMNT have in common?

Shredder.

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