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Dunno Jokes

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kid: "Mum, what's an orgasm?"

Mum: "I dunno, ask your Dad...."

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Called my friend.

I called my friend just now and said, "I have a joke for you."

Friend: "Ok shoot"

Me: "What has a tiny penis and hangs down?"

Friend: "I dunno what?"

Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Friend: I dunno what?


*Click*

What’s the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-qaeda outpost?

I dunno man I just fly the drone.

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A 7 year old & 4 year old are in their bedroom. “You know what” says 7 year old “I think its time we started swearing…

A 7 year old & 4 year old are in their bedroom. "You know what" says 7 year old
"I think its time we started swearing.
When we go downstairs for breakfast I'lI swear first then you".
"OK" says 4 year old.
Mum asks 7 yr old what he wants for breakfast. "I'II have Coco pops, bitch"....

My Daughter: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Me: "I dunno"

"To get to the idiots house"
.
.
.
.
.
"Knock knock"

Me: "Who's there?"

"It's the chicken...."



She's 8...

A joke my 4 year old came up with today...

Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"

Me: "I dunno, what?"

Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"

I dunno why my work has posters up saying 'practice social distancing'

I mean, do we really need more practice?

I figure we're all pretty good at it by now.

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

I dunno, seems like a joke to me

Never use poems in evil ways. Well I'm

gonna do exactly that. I might as well

give you the knowledge that

you will be pranked **hard**. So leave. Still reading? You don't give

up easily. You should've

never read this. Let me just tell you that you're

gonna h...

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My eight year old nephew said he had a joke:

“What did the ant say to the other ant?”
“I dunno, what?”
“Nothing, ants communicate using pheromones, not speech.”
“Yeah, that’s not really a joke kid.”
He was quiet for a moment, and looked at the ground. “It’s an ant-y joke, asshole.”

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OnlyFans has just announced that it is removing all pornography on october 1st.

I suggested they change their name to LonelyFans, but i dunno

The new job

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.

The officer wants to ask her a few questions...

Officer:
\- "What's 2+2"?

Blonde:
\- "Ummmmm... 4!"

Officer:
\- "What's the square root of 100?"

Blonde:...

I dunno why, but jokes on Flat Earthers always..

Fall flat

I dunno how this shelter in place is gonna save lives?

There are already THREE potential murder victims in this house alone!

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I dunno who this Rorschach guy is

Or why he’s so obsessed with drawing dicks

I was playing poker with my friends. Dunno why they got so mad at me.

I was just eating chips

As a doctor I often get asked why I use that rubber hammer to tap patient's knees.

I dunno. I just get a kick out of it.

A man’s wife is missing…

Man: Officer, my wife is missing. She went out yesterday and she hasn’t come home.

Officer: Okay, what’s her height?

Man: Not sure…. Maybe around 5’6?

Officer: Okay, weight?

Man: I dunno… not slim not big.

Officer: Okay… colour of her eyes?

Man: Sort of blue...

I dunno why people say hurtful things like...

"Wanna go for a run?"
or "Try this kale."

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Dunno why people like to associate Comcast with the Nazis

It's not like they're the fascist out there.

I dunno if a gun would be my murder weapon of choice

but it's worth a shot.

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter...

Dear Ma & Pa,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But...

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A snobby young couple was walking through Central Park, discussing their massive credit card and mortgage debt.

As they worried about how to continue their rich lifestyle, a grubby homeless guy appears from behind a bush. He says, “Pssst! hey! I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you let me lick your wife’s boobs.”

The couple were appalled and hurry away. After a few seconds, the wife whispers, “You kn...

So, a bear walks into a bar.

The barkeep says, "What'll it be, sir?"
The bear replies,"I'll have a .. ... .... ..rum and Coke."
to which the barkeep asks,"What's with the big pause?"
The bear looks down a bit confused and answers, "I dunno, I guess I was born with them?"

A day in the life of an IT guy...

Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.

IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?

Customer: Nothing.

IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?

Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...

IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?...

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware ?

I dunno, Alaska.

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The only good joke I know, and it's about blind people

Two guys are walking their dogs and come across a bar. One of them smiles. "shit yeah, let's get wasted!" he says. The other guy isn't sure. "I dunno, man. I don't want to leave my dog outside around these parts." "Dude, relax. Just follow my lead."

The first guy puts on some sunglasses, then...

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer

I dunno what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

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I was asked what my views on pornography were.

I said, "I dunno, rough math maybe 2,500?"

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This is the worst joke I know. "A mad scientist is developing an immortality serum..."

"...and so far it works perfectly in cell culture, in worms, in mice and rats, and in racoons. Next step is testing it in dolphins. As she's reaching for the syringes for her test subjects, she notices that she's run out of serum and has to prepare a new batch. The primary ingredient is a chemi...

If McDonalds sold fancy steaks they’d call them Filet Mc’gnons

...also it’s my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!

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superman is flying along....

When he spots wonderwoman through a window in a hotel, she's on the bed stark naked and looks to be having the time of her life...

He thinks to himself.. "I could fly in at the speed of light, give her a quick one and fly out again before she even knew what happened!"

So with a sly gri...

A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: “What’s your blood group?”

The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old mate, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the boss...

But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big ...

Man goes to a pet store to get his wife an anniversary present.

He walks into the store, owner greets him and asks how he can help him. He glances at the pets I the store and sees birds, guinea pigs, fish and stuff.

Husband: "Today is our anniversary and I'm looking for something real special for my wife."

Owner: "Boy do I have something special fo...

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Dad? What's the definition of 'kinky'?

Dunno son, now help me lift your granny off this doorknob

2 Cows in a feild.. one says "what do you think of that mad cow disease?"

The other replies "I dunno, it doesn't effect me, I'm a duck"

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How many dead hookers do you need to change a light bulb?

Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark

What is the difference between a child and A.I.?

Dunno. But we just found a really clever way to lower staffing costs!

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A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach...

A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach.

"Hi, my name is Ed." he says.

"What's it short for?" she asks.

Thoughtful, he looks down a moment, before answering,

"I dunno, it's always been like that."

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Two skidmarks are stuck to the side of the toilet bowl.

One asks the other, how long are you planning on sticking around?

Other one says.. I dunno, just until I get pissed off.

Bought a pet rock. It looked lonely so I bought another. I dunno how, but they started breeding. Months later there was gravel and stones everywhere. I couldn't take it anymore and had enough.

Threw it all in a canvas sack, weighed it down with a couple of puppies, and tossed it in the river.

I met my new neighbor today. Turns out he's Swiss.

I told him I'd never met someone from Switzerland before, and asked what he likes most about his home country.

He shrugged. "I dunno. The flag's a big plus."

How many Nails did it take for the Crucifixion of Jesus?

I dunno, probably a Handful?

Two hunters were walking in the woods...

One of them stops and says, "Whoa, whoa! Watch out for that hole!".

They both stop and look down what appears to be the deepest hole they'd ever seen, right in the ground in front of them.

"How deep is that?", one of them asks the other.

"I dunno, let's throw something down an...

I need help with a 17 year old joke about Jello and Communism

So my friend and I started this game 17 years ago where you have to come up with a jello (we altered the rules to allow *some* pastries) that fit a communist theme.

Everytime we come up with a new one we swear there are none left. I know he cheats, cos I cheat too. My sister came up with Ban...

I once met a Welshman who bragged about his virility

I asked him how many partners he'd had and he said 'I dunno, everytime I count them I fall asleep'.

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Two little kids.....

aged six and eight, decide it’s time to learn how to swear. So the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, “Okay, you say ‘ass’ and I’ll say ‘hell.’”

All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they’d like for breakfast. “Aw, hell,” says the eight-y...

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The case of the missing condoms

A girl I was friends with in high school called me crying today. She had a question she needed to ask a guy friend. She said her boyfriend had just bought a box of a dozen condoms and now there are only six left, but they only had sex three times. When confronted her boyfriend said that sometimes...

What did little Timmy, with no hands, receive for Christmas?

I dunno', he hasn't opened it yet.

Darling, what happened to the parrot?

– Darling, what happened to the parrot?
– I dunno, Mommy, but I heard the cat talking.

Officer, where did the hacker escape?

I dunno man, he just ransomware

Dumb, Yet Stupid

Godzilla: I don't feel so well...
Mothra: What did you eat?
Godzilla: Netflix.
Mothra: Why did that make you sick?
Godzilla: Dunno. I feel like I've eaten Stranger Things...

After our radio station's accountant died in a parachuting accident, the program director told me to play some Tom Petty in rememberance after the obituary, as the accountant liked his music. However, when I did exactly that, he ended up putting my show off air. Dunno why.

Though maybe I shouldn't have played *Free Fallin'*...

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My girlfriend told me that having a small dick was not a problem

But I dunno... I kind of wish she didn't have one at all

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What were two shits talking about?

I dunno, they were talking shit

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An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.

The Kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"

To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.

Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few ...

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