UPJOKE
necrosisgas gangreneinfectionamputationputrefactionrotmortifyangioplastynecrosesphacelatedry gangrenedecaydeathblistersdehydration

Gangrene Jokes

I had both my legs amputated even though only one had gangrene.

I had to sell the other one to pay for the surgery.

A gangrene infection

A doctor at a hospital was out back on a smoke break and noticed a man standing at the nearby dumpster. He approached the man to make sure everything was ok and noticed that this man was suffering from a gangrene infection on his leg. Being a caring doctor, he invites the man into the hospital to ha...

Guy goes into the hospital with a bad case of gangrene on his foot ...

... doctor says “we’re going to need to amputate this foot immediately before it spreads”.

He goes through surgery and as he wakes up from his slumber the doctor says “well sir, I have some good news and bad news, what do you want first?”

“I’ll take the bad news first”

“Okay, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Old medical joke

A very sexually active guy went to the doctor complaining of pain when urinating.

The doctor sent him off for a number of blood, stool and semen samples, and when the result came back phoned the guy urgently and said "oh my god, you have 'Hong Kong Dong', you need to have your penis amputat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man walks to a doctors office to show his blue penis. [NSFW]

Doctor takes a look a says "it's gangrene, I am sorry but we have to amputate it right now".

After several weeks, the same man comes back and says "Doctor, now my thighs are blue!"

Doctor takes a look again and ask "you haven't wash your new jeans? It looks like the stain a little bit....

Two men are sitting in the doctor's office.

The one looks at the other one and says, "What are you here for?"

The man replied "I have a red ring around my pecker, What are you here for?"

The other man said, "I have a green ring around my pecker."

The doctor called the man with the red ring first in his office and exami...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy sitting in the STI specialist's waiting room.

Getting worried and a man he knows walks in, so they sit and talk for a minute. "Man," he said, "Never thought I'd see you in here, you're always so fucking careful. What happened?"

"Nah," the man replies, "Dunno, work up this morning after a night out and I got this real red ring around my ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy is waiting in the doctor’s office. He’s very nervous and decides to talk to the guy beside him

“So, What are you here for?”

“I got a red ring around the base of my penis, and I’m really scared.”

“Wow... I got a green ring... wonder what it is.”


The first guy gets called in. A few more minutes later he comes out beaming. “Nothing to worry about!! “ he tells our friend ...

A woman was having surgery

A woman was having surgery to have her left leg amputated, due to gangrene. Unfortunately, the doctor mistakenly removed her right leg.

Realising his mistake while she was still under anaesthesia, he proceeded to remove her left leg.

Later on, she sued the doctor for malpractice, bu...

Amputate?

Doctor: Mr. Franco, I'm sorry to tell you that your leg has developed gangrene, and if we don't amputate immediately, you may die due to infection.

Shall I schedule the surgery?

Mr. Franco: Hmm... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.



They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring. The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

Vastly relived, the...

A tragic case of malpractice and injustice

So this unfortunate fellow comes down with gangrene and goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him that the leg will have to be removed. After the operation the man wakes up and to his horror the doctor had amputated the wrong leg. Of course the doctor had to go back in immediately and take off the co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor after returning from Thailand....

He explains to the doctor that while he was in Thailand, he had sex with a different prostitute every night. Now that he's returned home, his penis is starting to become green in some areas and black in other areas.


Fearing some horrible std, the doctor says, "this looks horrible, almost...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Red ring, green ring

John is sitting in a doctor's waiting room, waiting to go in. To pass the time, he asks the man sitting next to him what he's there for. "Oh, I'm here because I have a strange red ring around the base of my penis, and I don't know where it came from."

"What a coincidence," says John, "I'm...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hot buttered corn

Three guys have been walking thru the desert for 2 days. They are dehydrated, they are hungry, and they are tired.
One man believes he sees a house in the distance. They all accuse him of seeing a mirage until they all get a little closer and realize there is a house all alone in the middle of t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, we'll call him Bob, walked into his doctor's office...

...and nervously approached the check-in desk.
"What brings you in today?" asked the receptionist.
Hesitantly, the man responded, "I have a green ring on my penis, and I don't know what it is."
"No problem," the woman replied. "Please have a seat, and we'll be with you shortly.
As B...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.