UPJOKE
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Focuses Jokes

I'm working on a show that focuses on the life of a gifted airplane captain.

Producers said that if I wanted to be successful, I'd need an excellent pilot.

My dad works for a company that focuses on the health of the lower 3/4 of the body, and yesterday he just became the CEO.

Now he's the Head of Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!

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Why would a porn site that only focuses on flight attendants be really successful?

It only takes your left hand to type "stewardesses"

It appears that r/jokes only focuses on the current president, so George Bush jokes are too late.

But 9/11 jokes are too soon.

my dog can play the piano, pretty limited repertoire though

focuses only on bach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate bullshit science

It only focuses on the mushrooms

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A Priest and a Nun go golfing...

The priest lines up his shot, adjusts his lucky cap, takes a deep breath, and swings! And misses.

"Fuck!" he shouts.

The nun is scandalized and warns the priest-'Father! Watch your language!'
The priest apologizes and decides to move onto the next hole.

He lines up his shot,...

A man takes a seat on a plane next to, none other than, the Pope.

The whole flight the man sweats beads being so nervous having been sat next to his holiness.

The man is able to keep his calm and avoid an awkward conversation as the Pope focuses all of his attention on a crossword puzzle.

A couple hours into the flight the man hears his Holiness mu...

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I accidentally swallowed a fly today

i think my cock sucking strength is good now and I should switch focuses to improving my aim

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A hunter goes to a forest, owned by a friendly old man, to try and hunt a bear

The old man warns him: - If you don't succeed on your task, the bear will fuck you in the ass.- He ignores him, goes up to the bear's cave, holds his breath, aims and shoots the bear, missing. The bear goes behind the terrified hunter and fucks him in the ass. The hunter runs away, humiliated, and h...

I first heard this one different (read racist) but I think I fixed it

A family of a well known rapper are sitting at the table. Mom, dad and a small child in a high chair.
Suddenly, the child focuses a lot and with effort says: "Mother."

"Look!" exclaims the rapper. "He can say half a word!"

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

A man goes skydiving.....

A man goes skydiving.

After he jumps out of the plane he pulls the parachute cord and nothing happens.

Panicking, he pulls the emergency chute. Again nothing happens.

As he is plummeting towards the earth he sees a speck moving up towards him. As he focuses he can see it's anoth...

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