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Fetishes Jokes

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I have to tell my girlfriend I am not into her fetishes.

But first, I gotta get some shit off my chest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife said she's leaving because of my sexual fetishes

I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse.

But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People with clock fetishes are so punctual.

They always cum on time

Why do people with foot fetishes never win?

Because they like the taste of defeat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally finished that book about clock fetishes

It's about fucking time.

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed, you nasty little pervert.

The thing about people with fruit fetishes...

Is that they usually come in pears

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fetishes

I used to be into BDSM, beastiality, and necrophilia. But then I realized I was just beating on a dead horse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to see a psychologist about his fetishes

The psychologist asks “so what is your problem?”

The man replies “well doctor, I’m into flagellation, beastiality, and necrophilia.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you,” says the doctor, “you’re flogging a dead horse.”

What do people with foot fetishes and recovery vehicle drivers have in common?

Tow (toe) jobs

Why is it best to visit your chiropractor for your fetishes?

Because they will help you work out your kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried again to tell my therapist about my sadism, necrophilia and bestiality fetishes. . .

but she says I'm just beating a dead horse.

What do people who raise the dead have in common with people who have throat fetishes?

They’re both neck romancers.

I want to open a gym for people with fetishes.

It's a great idea in theory, but I'm still trying to work out the kinks.

Why is it difficult for people with foot fetishes to make friends?

Cause they always seem to get off on the wrong foot.

I hate the french and their food related fetishes

They're a pain in the ass

Why don't Europeans have foot fetishes?

they use the metric system

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sexual fetishes are getting seperate volume in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

There is now the a-DSM and the b-DSM.

I've developed a new method of excercise that strengthens your fetishes rather than your body.

It's good in concept, but I haven't worked out there kinks yet.

Yesterday my girlfriend asked me if i had any fetishes

I told her I'm into wordplay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I were going on holiday..

And we were discussing our secret sexual fetishes. She said she always wanted to be handcuffed.

So I planted a kilo of coke in her suitcase..

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