How would the Church of England deal with the statement that "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ...

Golden Toilet

Two colleagues, Elon and Felix, meet after work and Felix is all excited: "Man, I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude's house who had toilet made of gold!"
"You're kidding!".
"Nope" said Felix as he took Elon to the house.
They rang the doorbell and a middle-ag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys meet at a bar. one of them is an inventor.

Bob,the inventor,tosses Felix a peach."What's this?"Felix asks.

"It's a peach."says Bob.

"I know it's a peach." Felix says.

"It's a special peach"Bob says.

"What's so special about it?"continues Felix.

"This one here,I shit you not, tastes just like a woman's vagin...

"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?"

"who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"

New Job.......

Barry is seated at a small table in a warmly lit coffee shop sipping coffee.
Barry’s friend Felix enters looking somewhat dubious. (Felix bares a remarkable resemblance to Woody Allen.) He spots Barry and joins him at the table.
BARRY: Did you find a job?
FELIX: Yeah. I got a job at a...

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