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Laurel Jokes

The man who rests on his laurels…

….is wearing them in the wrong place.

— Harold Coffin

Siri call Laurel

Ok. Calling Yanny.

What the sidekick to resting on one’s Laurel?

Resting on one’s Hardy

My wife hears "laurel" and I hear "yanny."

Which makes sense, because when she says "do the dishes," I hear "take a nap."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a couple were having sex

So a couple were having sex and the man said “Oh yes Laurel! Give it to me good!”

She lashed out saying “who the fuck is Yanny?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Hey honey, you've got a call!" says my wife sitting across the room with my phone on the table next to her.

"I'm a little busy babe, could you pick it up please?"

She obliges. "Put it on speaker", I add.

"Hey it's Laurel! I was calling to let you know I had a great time last nig-", my wife hangs up.

She glares at me as I shuffle nervously and demands, "Who the fuck is Laurel!?"
...

Two women discuss their husband's...

"My Herbert snores so loud I just can't sleep. I don't know what to do.."
Her friend says, "well I don't know if helps but when our dog snores we tie some laurel around his tail"

It's morning, Herbert wakes up, completely hang over, looks down, sees the laurel wreath down there, calls his ...

The secret to making slow cooked chili is placing the bay leaf on top, not the bottom.

A good chili doesn't rest on its laurels.

“My husband can do the work of two men."

"Unfortunately those men are Laurel and Hardy.”

(Source - Jo Brand)

I saw a live proposal today...

He said, “Laurel, will you marry me?”

She slapped him and said, “Who’s Yanny?”

St. Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates..

St. Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants a...

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