Dude exclusively hangs out with other dudes...kisses the dude he loves best...never gets married or even has a gf. You’re thinking what I’m thinking, right?

Yep, it’s Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a woman who was honest about going exclusively for assholes last night

And now, mine hurts too bad to go to the bathroom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone exclusively attracted to college professors?

A-sexual

Facebook recently started a produce market dealing exclusively in peppers.

Yet another way they're jalapeño business.

What do you call a girl that exclusively dates niceguys?

A beta tester.

I'm making an app like Tinder, but exclusively for paleontologists

I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

Batman dresses exclusively in dark colors because Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Robin dresses exclusively in bright colors because Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do...

I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything.

What do you call musical groups that are exclusively made of masseuses?

Rubber bands

I exclusively use internet explorer

to download Google chrome.

Planters will be distributing exclusively to airlines.

That's just plane nuts.

Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction?

It's called Lake Flaccid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

20-Year double-blind university study in Sweden on the effects of diet on sex drive

Have you heard about this new study?

Researchers in Sweden tracked 2,000 couples from the moment they first started dating out to twenty (20) years forward.

Obviously, most of the couples ended up getting divorced, but their behavior and health was still tracked throughout the study....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer in Los Angeles helped make history last month

His client was a UPS driver accused of sexually harassing a woman while dropping off a package. He figured his best chance to win was to fill the jury with people who saw this behaviour as normal. So, he manipulated the process to fill the jury exclusively with male porn stars. It was the first time...

Three best friends stumble upon a genie lamp.

As a joke, the first one begins to rub it, and all three are surprised when a genie pops out in full Arabian gear. The genie eyes all three of the awestruck men and nods regally.

"I am a Jinn of the Somali. As you have allowed me to see the outside world once again, I shall grant each of you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Birth control alternatives

A husband and wife walk into a doctors office looking for alternative options for birth control as the pill is quite hormoney and the husband is allergic to latex.

They ask the doctor "we've been thinking about exclusively practising anal sex, surely there's no pregnancy risk there!"

D...

A man was out for a hike on a mountain when he's caught in a storm. Afraid of traversing the narrow roads in foul weather, he sought help in the first building he saw - a monastery...

"Of course, you can stay here until the morning. We even have spare rooms you can stay in." said the monk, who answered the door.


The man gratefully accepted the offer and followed the monk to the room. He quickly changed out of his wet clothes and lay in bed, only to notice a muffled ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Apples new headphones look like tampons?

Because they're made exclusively for cunts.

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do sex and The Big Issue have in common? (Original Joke)

I buy them exclusively from homeless people

An anthropologist visits a tribe that eats only meat...

An anthropologist visits an exclusively carnivorous tribe in previously uncharted deep-jungle territory and word gets around about this strange woman who eats plants.

M'buk says to T'gru, "Have you heard about this woman who eats *plants?*"

T'gru gets this puzzled look and says "no, I'...

Politicians are like diapers...

They're almost exclusively white

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian dreams in English

from Mila Kunis AMA

Question: Do you ever think in russian? What about dreams?

Mila Kunis:
> I dream in english. That actually happened, later in life, but now I dream in english. When I learned to speak english fluently, my dreams changed to english.

>*Strange, right?*...

looking for investors for my new specialty dating site

So I'm planning on taking advantage of the huge influx of specialty dating sites like farmers only or Christian mingle, etc... I'm starting a site exclusively for Indians. It's gonna be called, "Connect the dots."
(So who's in with me???)

New documentary about the female menstrual cycle.

Available exclusively at Redbox.

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