UPJOKE
magnificationexpansionincreaseinflationenlargephotographextensiondistensiondilatationintensificationhypertrophyaccessionblocreunificationnato

Enlargement Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined their enormous wealth and power to develop the most effective penis enlargement pill ever created.

They're calling it Elongates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took penis enlargement pills, but still my wife left me.



She just couldn't take it any longer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been working in the porn industry, so I got penis enlargement surgery

It should help me make it big

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a guy who had penis enlargement surgery.

His penis was so small that he went to speak to a doctor about it. “The doctor said, the vets have an old baby elephant trunco we would use for you? “ “ yes doctor, that’s amazing !” After a couple months he goes on a date and it’s going well until his trunk comes out his pants, and steals a brea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor to see about penis enlargement.

He turned out to be a shrink.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I gave my friend penis enlargement pills

She didn’t like it very much

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I keep getting emails about penis enlargement.

The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The president took some dick enlargement pills

He's 6'3 now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor to ask about options for penis enlargement.

He says, "doc, it's tiny. My pinky finger has more girth. I'm afraid my wife is going to leave me if I don't do something about it."

The doctor replies, "well, if you're really that small, I don't think medication is an option. However, there is an experimental surgery I've been developing, w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Finally the penis enlargement kit I ordered arrived

I opened the box all that was inside was a magnifying glass. The directions said, don’t use in direct sunlight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went to the doctor to inquire about options for penis enlargement...

"Doc," he said, "you've got to help me. My penis is miniscule. It always has been. The other boys used to make fun of me in the locker room, girls I dated would laugh at me as soon as we got to the bedroom... I experienced nothing but humiliation my whole life, until I met my wife, god bless her. Sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i bought a penis enlargement treatment on Amazon

just haven't figured out how the magnifying glass is supposed to help.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man Goes to a Wizard for penis enlargement.

He crossed many rivers and oceans and finally reached to said location. There he saw a huge mountain he reached the top and saw the Wizard there..

Man : Hey i suppose you are that famous Wizard that can increase my Dick size?

Wizard : Yes, take these medicines and take them regularly....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penis enlargement NSFW (Long)

Paddy's wife complains to him that his penis is too small and doesn't satisfy her, so on a visit to the local pub, after a few pints, he seeks advice from Mick, who's a well-known ladies' man.

"Do what I do," says Mick. "As I go upstairs, I slap my pecker off the handrail with every step I ta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went for a penis enlargement operation

The next day his friend asked him if it was painful. The man replied, "Nah, I just remember a little prick... But now it's much larger!"



Credit to my fiance.

"On this, the 10 anniversary of our time together during breast enlargement surgery, I send this note of remembrance and gratitude to you, my beloved plastic surgeon..."

"Thanks for the ***mammaries*** !"

Ba dum *TSS*!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it called when a man gets penis enlargement surgery?

An adalittledictamy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know why they only sell penis enlargement pills legally?

Because they don't sell well on the black market.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried a new penis enlargement method which promised to double the length.

That was quite a stretch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once, a man ordered a penis enlargement kit through a website

He was furious when he opened the packet which was delivered. All it had was a magnifying glass.

But he started laughing when he saw a note along with it: "Avoid using in direct sunlight."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I need some money for a penis enlargement

I'm a little short.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I over heard my wife on the phone, "my husband got a penis enlargement during the self quarantine."

Yeah the prick gained 20 pounds!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I don’t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

If i told you a joke about a woman who had wooden breast enlargements..

It would need a good punch line - wooden tit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On this, the second anniversary of becoming a Redditor, I've decided to repost one of my OWN jokes!

As an experiment, I blended some penis enlargement medication with some Viagra and then added that into my eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

A woman consulted a plastic surgeon...

...and asked for a breast enlargement. After the doctor explained the procedure and the costs she stated that she couldn’t afford that much. The doctor replies that he recently heard of a new method: „Just take some toilet paper and rub it up and down your chest once or twice a day.“ Surprised the w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How I tell that the targeted advertising is working

Usually I can tell when they start putting up those dick enlargement pill adds.

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.

"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"

"Oh yea, how she doing?"

"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.

"Oh, she got breast enlargemen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man isn't happy with the size of his... [long]

John has a date planned with a very attractive young lady in a few weeks, and he's a bit nervous.

You see, John is a fairly successful single man. He's got good looks, money, a luxurious loft apartment, and a convertible sports car. You can be sure that all of the ladies want him, but of all...

I got my first prostate exam

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it's not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare m...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.