This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man went to the doctor to inquire about options for penis enlargement...

"Doc," he said, "you've got to help me. My penis is miniscule. It always has been. The other boys used to make fun of me in the locker room, girls I dated would laugh at me as soon as we got to the bedroom... I experienced nothing but humiliation my whole life, until I met my wife, god bless her. Sh...

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A man took penis enlargement pills but still his wife left him

She just couldn't take it any longer.

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I gave my friend penis enlargement pills

She didnโ€™t like it very much

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

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A prostitute in Utrecht walked into a doctor's office asking for information about a breast enlargement.

When asked how she'd pay for it, she said she had insurance. The doctor was curious why it would be covered. She replied that it covers ergonomic improvements

If Elon musk and Bill gates made an enlargement pill, then

It would be called Elongate

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My gf recommended I get a penis enlargement surgery. I told her I'd get it done...

... as long as it made her happy

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The president took some dick enlargement pills

He's 6'3 now

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I'm currently testing a penis enlargement method I found on the internet where you put tight o-rings on your dick for some days.

I think it's starting to work, my penis already turned black.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do men do to get a penis enlargement?

I don't know in detail, but they are going to great lengths.

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There has been lots of skepticism on whether advertised Penis Enlargement methods actually work. However recent studies proved that "virtual" Penis Enlargement (VPE) does work.

Your penis doesn't actual grow in size, but appears larger to your partner. The most effective VPE, was shown to be Money.

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A man Goes to a Wizard for penis enlargement.

He crossed many rivers and oceans and finally reached to said location. There he saw a huge mountain he reached the top and saw the Wizard there..

Man : Hey i suppose you are that famous Wizard that can increase my Dick size?

Wizard : Yes, take these medicines and take them regularly....

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On this, the second anniversary of becoming a Redditor, I've decided to repost one of my OWN jokes!

As an experiment, I blended some penis enlargement medication with some Viagra and then added that into my eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Finally the penis enlargement kit I ordered arrived

I opened the box all that was inside was a magnifying glass. The directions said, donโ€™t use in direct sunlight.

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I over heard my wife on the phone, "my husband got a penis enlargement during the self quarantine."

Yeah the prick gained 20 pounds!

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Three days ago, I started with that new penis enlargement method where you have to put on 10 penis rings at once. And you know what: It works.

It's already turning black.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I tried a new penis enlargement method which promised to double the length.

That was quite a stretch.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

i bought a penis enlargement treatment on Amazon

just haven't figured out how the magnifying glass is supposed to help.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What's it called when a man gets penis enlargement surgery?

An adalittledictamy

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A man went for a penis enlargement operation

The next day his friend asked him if it was painful. The man replied, "Nah, I just remember a little prick... But now it's much larger!"



Credit to my fiance.

If i told you a joke about a woman who had wooden breast enlargements..

It would need a good punch line - wooden tit?

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

You know why they only sell penis enlargement pills legally?

Because they don't sell well on the black market.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I donโ€™t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I keep getting emails about penis enlargement.

The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Once, a man ordered a penis enlargement kit through a website

He was furious when he opened the packet which was delivered. All it had was a magnifying glass.

But he started laughing when he saw a note along with it: "Avoid using in direct sunlight."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Penis enlargement NSFW (Long)

Paddy's wife complains to him that his penis is too small and doesn't satisfy her, so on a visit to the local pub, after a few pints, he seeks advice from Mick, who's a well-known ladies' man.

"Do what I do," says Mick. "As I go upstairs, I slap my pecker off the handrail with every step I ta...

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I need some money for a penis enlargement

I'm a little short.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I've been thinking about getting a penis enlargement.

I have a lot riding on this.

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New Breast Enlargement Technique

(This joke needs bodily movements to get its full effect, so it won't be quite as funny just reading it. It needs to be done live & out loud, so steal at will!)


A woman goes into surgery for breast augmentation, as she had a very flat chest that she was self-conscious about. When sh...

A woman consulted a plastic surgeon...

...and asked for a breast enlargement. After the doctor explained the procedure and the costs she stated that she couldnโ€™t afford that much. The doctor replies that he recently heard of a new method: โ€žJust take some toilet paper and rub it up and down your chest once or twice a day.โ€œ Surprised the w...

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How I tell that the targeted advertising is working

Usually I can tell when they start putting up those dick enlargement pill adds.

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.

"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"

"Oh yea, how she doing?"

"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.

"Oh, she got breast enlargemen...

I got my first prostate exam

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it's not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare m...

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Radar Gun

During an uneventful evening a cop at a speed trap has pulled over a speeding car.

*Cop*: "Sir do you know why I pulled you over?"
*Man*: "I'm afraid I was speeding officer. But you see, I'm a plastic surgeon at a private clinic and I was rushing to a client."
*Cop*: "What kind of a...

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A man isn't happy with the size of his... [long]

John has a date planned with a very attractive young lady in a few weeks, and he's a bit nervous.

You see, John is a fairly successful single man. He's got good looks, money, a luxurious loft apartment, and a convertible sports car. You can be sure that all of the ladies want him, but of all...

New kinds of implants.

So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast enlargement, the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be stupid woodentit?

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