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Dilate Jokes

When you die what body part dies last?

The pupils, they dilate

When the human body dies, what's the last part to die?

The pupils. They dilate.

I just got back from an eye examination where they dilated my pupils

It was truly an eye opening experience

A scale factor and a variable are walking in the park when the Grim Reaper appears.

The Grim Reaper points to the scale factor and says “your time is up,” and hits him with his scythe. However, nothing happens for about 10 seconds, and then the scale factor drops dead. The variable sees this and asks “why didn’t he die immediately when you hit him?” The Grim Reaper responds “Oh, it...

Why do optometrists live so long?

Because they dilate.

”You’re the light of my life!”

”Yeah, well then why do your pupils dilate every time you see me?”

I’m afraid my son will start to gain too much weight when he starts school.

I hear it’s normal for pupils to dilate.

A boy meets an astrologer

The Astrologers predicts that the boy will die soon.

Disheartened he walks into his professor and turns off all the lights; but why?

Because he knew, with no light; the professor's pupils will dilate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Birth

Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.On arrival the nurse asks "How dilated is she?"To which paddy relies,"Oh Jaysus we"re both over the moon!!..:)

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...
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