When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice.

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A dwarf walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a donkey.

The brothel keeper asks how she can help him. He says, "I need a woman, because mine has left me."

The keeper says "Why? And what are the honeycomb and donkey for?" The dwarf says, "My wife found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first, she asked for a house fit for a ...

Due to COVID-19, The Seven Dwarfs have been restricted to gather in a group of no more than six.

One of them is not Happy.

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A lady dwarf goes to her gynecologist for her annual check up.

"Any issues or concerns?", asks the Dr.

"Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my labia gets a bit red and sore."

"That's very unusual", says the Doc, "Hop up on table and let me take a look."

She does, and after a few minutes of checking he says she ...

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Probably bad but why not. Al Pacino and a dwarf walk into a bar

The bartender asks Pacino what he wants to drink, but ignores the dwarf. This goes on for some time, until the dwarf gets pissed and tells Pacino. Pacino then pulls out a gun and points it at the bartender, and shouts "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

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I saw my dwarf friend at the bus stop, so I stopped next to him.

"Do you need a ride?" I asked.

"Fuck off!" He told me.

"Well what an ungrateful little jerk," I thought, as I zipped up my backpack and kept walking.

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf

"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.

The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.

He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He jumps up and down, saying ev...

A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.

"I'd like to buy a horth"

He says to the owner of the farm.

"What sort of horse?"

Said the owner.

"A female horth"

The dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a lovely mare.

"Nithe horth."

Says the dwarf,

"Can I thee her eyeth?"

So ...

Why was the dwarf who lived in the city always on time?

Because he was a metro gnome.

A dwarf spiritualist broke out of prison today.

Police say there is a small medium at large.

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A Female Dwarf

Goes to the doctors and says "everytime it rains my Vagina hurts" The doctor has a good look at her lady garden and can't see anything that could cause it. He advises to come back on the next rainy day.

A few days later the dwarf is back at his office saying its raining and my vagina is hurti...

What is a dwarf's favorite dessert?

Shortcake

Two dwarf brothers are walking home with one girl each...

Two dwarf brothers are walking home with one girl each, to do you know what.
The first dwarf goes to a room and gets in bed with one of the girls, but things don't go their way and after a while they give up. But the first dwarf can clearly hear the second dwarf yelling: "I'm coming, I'm coming!...

Today i saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall...

I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending"....

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Three little dwarfs

Three little dwarfs were hanging out when one said “I think I have the world’s smallest hands!”

The second dwarf said “I think I have the world’s smallest feet!”

The third dwarf said “I think I have the world’s smallest penis!”

They made an appointment with the guinness book o...

There was a brothel and the workers were all dwarfs. It was losing business though, as the main gigolo had an issue with premature ejactulation

I guess it was just a shortcoming

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns ...

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So this Elf, Dwarf and a Thief go out on an adventure

So this Dwarf, Elf and Thief go out on adventure - the Elf armed with a great bow, the Dwarf with a warhammer and the thief with an empty sack "for all the gold we'll find!" They travel for days and days until they approach the entrance to a dangerous and dark dungeon. Bu they see that another par...

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The 7 Dwarfs on vacation



While on vacation, the Seven Dwarfs visit the local convent to buy some souvenirs.

They meet up with the Mother Superior and Dopey stops to talk to her.

“Excuse me, your holy one but do you have any short nuns here?”

Mother Superior is quite puzzled by the ques...

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Why wasn’t the ‘Snow White and seven dwarfs’ porn parody successful?

There were too many short comings.

Do you know you shouldn't sleep with a naked dwarf after she has given birth? (Slightly NSFW)

You will be accused of doing the Bare MiniMum.

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Dwarf nun

A man knocks on the gate at a local monastery as to see the dwarf nun. When they tell him they have no dwarf nuns he walks away confused. A few minutes later he goes back and ask them are you sure you don’t have any dwarf Nancy here? When they emphatically say no we don’t he walks off mumbling to hi...

This morning I was on the way to work, but I wasn’t paying attention and ended up rear ending another car. The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf. He looked at me and said “I’m not happy.”

I replied “Well, which one are you then?”

I called a dwarf by the wrong name.

He wasn't Happy.

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Two dwarfs walk into a bar where they pick up two prostitutes and take them back to their own respective rooms.

Unfortunately the first dwarf can’t get an erection no matter what. He’s depressed, and his depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, “one, two, three- uuump!” all night long.

In the morning the second dwarf asks the first, “ how was your night?”
<...

As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.

And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."

Low humor

My parents were Dwarfs. For years they struggled to put food on the table.

I reported my discovery of a new Dwarf Star to the Astronomy Society, so they let me name it.

I am gonna call it Peter Twinklage.

My ex-girlfriend was a dwarf

We really didn't see eye to eye

Ask me what I know about dwarfs.

Very little.

What's the seven dwarf's nickname for snow white?

Heigh Ho.

A fantasy joke

A dwarf rides up to a brothel on the back of a donkey holding a honeycomb wrapped in oilskin. He walks up to the madam.

"My good woman, I've been alone on the road for weeks. I would trade you this donkey," he said, gesturing at the beast he rode in on, "For a room and a woman, and this honey...

The 7 dwarfs were all in bed feeling happy

Happy got out and they all started feeling grumpy

The seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of 6...

One of them isn’t Happy!

What small thing screams "I'm rich"?

A dwarf who just won the lottery.


Credit to u/collider1

I backed into a dwarf’s car the other day.

He said “I’m not happy.”

I said “Which one are you, then?”

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There's a porn site that makes you watch at least 10 minutes of dwarf MILF content before you can access anything else.

That's their bare mini mum.

Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother!

Elf: You have my bow.

Dwarf: And my axe.

Necromancer: And your brother.

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican NSFW

When the Pope answers the door, Dopey steps forward and nervously asks "Your Excellency, I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No Dopey, I don't think there are," the Pope replies.

The other six dwarfs start to giggle.

"Well, are there any dwarf ...

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I met a dwarf the other day

He told me that my hair smelled good

So I reported him for sexual harassment

What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

A wee hard man.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

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My smart ass mouth always gets me in trouble.

I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, who was a dwarf, approached
aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."

I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered,
"OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?" ...

What did the dwarf say at the job fair?

Minimum wage please!

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A dwarf walks into a liquor store and orders, "I'd like just enough vodka for one."

"Half-pint?"

"Fuck you. Just get the vodka."

This movie about killing dwarf vampires has no tension

The stakes are too low

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

During A Battle, After the Death Of His Brother, A Prince from The Human Kingdom Screams to his Soldiers:

\- Kill the enemies, we must avenge my brother!!


then the elf archer, one of his most loyal allies says:


\- You got my bow at your side;


After that, the dwarf, a strong warrior says to the prince:


\- You got my hammer at your side;


At ...

“Every day, we have to make all the little things count.”

~ The math teacher of dwarfs.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed

How could anyone stoop so low?

What do dwarf and antivax advocates have in common?

\#ShortLivesMatter

Did you hear about the dwarf that escaped by rappelling from Alcatraz?

I would tell you, but it’s a little condescending.

Why did Trump's supporters go looking for a dwarf Mexican?

Because most American power is held by a tiny minority.

Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

Because the grass tickles their balls

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar...

The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What did the pimp say to the dwarf prostitute upon discovering she had eaten a copious amount of edibles?

High ho, high ho, it's off to work we go

To the dwarf who stole my antidepressants ...

I hope you're Happy

I was driving the other day, accidentally hit this guy in the back. Guy gets out. I see that he’s a dwarf. He starts surveying the damage, shakes his head, and says, “Well, I’m not Happy!”

I said, “Well, which one are you?!” And that’s when the fight began.

I sent a dwarf to the hospital today.

He said my girlfriends hair smelled nice.

So a dwarf stumbles out of a bar...

...because he's a little drunk.

I went to the mall and you know those people that set up their little shops? Well, there is a dwarf in a little hut, and he tells fortunes. Come to find out he is a fugitive and wanted for some crimes.

I guess that makes him a small medium at large...

I ran into a dwarf today with my shopping cart. I said “Oh man, are you okay?!” He said “I’m not happy!”

I said “Well which one are ya then?!”

A Dwarf Woman Got Mad And Was Yelling Insults At Me

I just walked away and didn't say a thing. I didn't want to stoop down to her level.

I was walking down the street the other day when I noticed someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don’t understand how anyone could stoop so low.

What’s the difference between Karen in a marathon and an intellectual dwarf?

One is a cunning runt.

What do you call an urban dwarf who's great at keeping time?

A metrognome

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

A dwarf walked into a bar.

The bar for this joke is set pretty low.

My grandfather was a dwarf

Poor guy always struggled to put food on the table

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf..

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table

Have you heard the one about the dwarf who abuses his tall wife?

It's a little offensive.

But a real knee slapper.

My favorite “And that’s when the fight started” joke!

A drunk man comes home to his wife and stands swayingly before her. She sees that his pants are ripped, his legs are bloody and he has bruises on his knuckles. Odd though, everything above his waist seems perfectly fine.

Wife: Oh no… What’s happened to you this time?

Husband: It was no...

I saw a dwarf goalie play two games in a row, and asked him, “Are you sore?”

He said, “Yes, I’m a little tender.”

I honestly don't know how to talk to dwarfs

It's one of my shortcomings.

What do I know about Dwarfs?

Very Little.





\-Joke credit goes to Jimmy Carr

Did you hear about the dyslexic dwarf?

It's not big and it's not clever

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

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I'm a Leprechaun!

A man was at a club and after several drinks, of course he had to go to the bathroom. When he started relieving himself in the trough, he noticed a dwarf a few feet down the trough. He glanced down and saw that the dwarf was hung like a horse.

“Damn! How does a little guy like you have such a...

The 7 Dwarfs are having their after work drink

And in walks the Pope for a nightly glass of wine. Dopey walks up to the Pope and tugs on his robes...the Pope looks down at Dopey and asks what he wants. Dopey says...Mr. Pope Sir, can I ask you a question? The Pope says yes...so Dopey asks if there are any small sized Nuns in the Vatican? And the ...

A dwarf called me an idiot

I told him to grow up

Did you hear about the Dwarf Chernobyl survivor that went on to become a pop singer?

They're currently making microwaves in the industry.

What do you call the odd pleasure a particle physicist feels when watching a dwarf chug a beer?

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.

What did the hooker say to the dwarf??

Keep your nose out of my business!!!

A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.

A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.

The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."

The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to ...

[NSFW] The seven dwarfs decided one day that they’re going to watch Snow White get undressed

So they go outside and stack themselves on top of each other to peer through her window:

Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, Dopey

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

...

“She’s taking off ...

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