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Drastically Jokes

The Russian economy is improving drastically.

Soon even the poorest Russian will be a billionaire.

Pollution levels have come down so drastically

That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!

Did you hear that automobile sales have raised drastically?

It's all due to car-owner virus

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence drastically

Let’s eat, Grandma.


Let’s eat commas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A crashing economy can affect your sex life drastically.

I am one of the victims ...

My Neighbour's husband lost his job & is always at home now !

Do you know what drastically goes down during the summer?

School shootings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Researchers have found that human sexuality has drastically changed in the last 50 years alone. (NSFW)

If your grandparents covered their furniture in plastic, it was because your grandmother was a squirter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My life has drastically changed for the better since I started eating more fiber

It really helped me get my shit together.

I found a way to drastically lose weight while sleeping!

and the money from selling my organs isn't bad either.

The first time someone drastically changed the Bible people probably thought "Wow...

...loose canon."

Colons can drastically change the meanings of sentences, far more than commas.

For example,

I come in a car

I come in a colon

Gary Oldman has had to drastically change his appearance to star in a biopic about one Britain's electronic music pioneers.

Guess he's going to be a Gary Numan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This food has been proven to drastically reduce or even eliminate sex drive in a significant percentage of women.

It's wedding cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid was doing horribly in math class..

He always brought home an F or C- on his report card. His parents decided to put him in a private catholic school to help him improve. All of a sudden his grades improved drastically. He had an A+ on every report card for Math. His parents finally asked, "Son, what changed? How did you improve so mu...

A general is inspecting the drydock where an advanced prototype is in the final stages of commissioning.

The project manager excitedly explains how the attack submarine will be much faster than an enemy due to an innovative design which drastically reduces drag forces. The general asks how progress is coming along.

The manager replies, “The propulsion system is complete, I think it's ready for ...

Did you know that bus drivers are good for more than driving the bus.

Thanks to them the pregnancy rate in nuns has dropped drastically

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man meets a shaman

Having been down on his luck for quite a number of years, the man figured it wouldn't hurt any more to consult him.

After hearing his numerous misfortunes in life, the shaman tells him: "I have seen countless souls turn cruel and uncaring when their fortunes change drastically for the better,...

Open it!

My wife and her friend were out to lunch when the temperature drastically dropped. They stood by her friend’s truck, shivering, while the friend searched for a key to unlock the door. My wife asked, “Can’t we sit in the truck while you find your keys?”

Luke Skywalker went to the Jedi temple

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical...

This is a long joke but the build up is worth it

Somewhere far away from here, there was a horse, a cow and a chicken. The horse had always wanted to start a band, so he learnt to play the guitar, while he was learning, he started looking for others who would be interested in joining his band, and found a chicken who was really good at singing and...

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