UPJOKE
lowdownwarddowncastdownwardsoutdescendingfallingbehindsetthrownpull downknock downdropfalllanugo

Downing Jokes

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila

"You're coming home now!" she screamed.

"No, I'm not," I laughed.

She said, "I'm talking to the kids."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do all the doors in 10 Downing Street have handles?

That place already has enough knobs.

Putin, Zelensky and Biden are on board a plane.

Suddenly, the plane is losing altitude and they are about to crash. On board there are only two parachutes.


Immediately, Putin snatches a parachute and jumps out to save himself.


Biden takes the remaining parachute and gives it to Zelensky: "Save yourself, my friend. I am m...

Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the downing hippie?

He was too far out, man.

Three contractors bid to fix a fence at 10 Downing Street...

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at 10 Downing Street. One is from up North another is from Poland, and the third is a Tory Party Donor. All three go with a Tory Party official to examine the fence.

The contractor from up north takes out a tape measure and does some measuri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.

The Kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"

To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."

[NSFW] An American and a Russian walk in a bar...

“One beer, please,” asks the American before downing the beer.

“Da, two beer,” asks the Russian in response, downing both.

Not wanting to be outdone, the American ordered;

“Three beers and shot of whiskey, please,” before downing them all in quick succession.

Not one to b...

Paddy and Mick are driving an I.E.D toward Downing Street...

Mick takes a left onto a cobbled road. The car shudders and shakes violently.

Paddy: "Mick!! Slow down ya crazy man, you're gonna set the bomb off!!!"

Mick: "Oh calm down Paddy, I've got a spare one in the back!"

Carpenter needed for 10 Downing Street

The Cabinets falling apart

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.