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Donkeys Jokes

A pack of donkeys is called "a drove". But what do you call a pack of camels?

It's called "the reason your daddy left", Johnny. That's what it's called.

Donkeys……

Two donkeys are standing at the roadside,one asks the other:”Shall we cross?”
His friend replies: “No way, look what happened to that zebra”.

A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey...

...and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in th...

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A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. He did so with skill and the donkeys rarely got away.

Long story short, he hauled ass to amass asses in a hole asset, whole-ass not half-ass, lassoed the asses so that they wouldn't bypass the ass hole.

As a commercial livestock hauler, my main responsibility is transporting donkeys.

My clients..have their asses handed to them.

Where do donkeys get their horoscopes?

From asstrologers!

A farmer who raises donkeys goes out of town, leaving his wife alone at the farm

A neighbouring farmer, who desires an affair with her, takes advantage of the opportunity and seduces the wife while her husband is away.

The wife soon finds out that she is pregnant with the neighbour’s child, and after informing them of this they decide that it would be best to confess to ...

What do you call a person with 2 donkeys?

Biased

My friend got killed by a donkey

Some say he was assassinated

Me: I think it’s safe to assume we are both donkeys.

My friend: Careful, you know what happens when you assume.

Me: Exactly.

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Strange how people think Mules do better work than Donkeys.

Especially considering Mules only do a half Ass job.

What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys?

Molasses.

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Why will donkeys never become fossorial?

Because the world already has enough assholes

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A man goes to an animal market

He goes up to a rooster seller and buys a rooster.

The seller hands it to him and says, "Oh, in this business, we call it a cock".

The man takes note and goes to buy a hen from a seller.

The seller hands it to him after paying and tells him "By the way, in this business, we call...

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Why don’t you ever see donkeys in school?

Because nobody likes a smart ass.

Two brothers and their donkeys

Two brothers argue on which of the two donkeys is theirs,
so the first man says, ” I’ll cut an ear off of my donkey and the donkey with only one ear will be mine you take the other one”. So they come to an agreement. At night the donkey with one ear looks at the other donkey with two ears in jea...

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What would you call a donkeys grave?

An asshole.

horse and a donkey meet for a drink. (soccer joke)

Horse and a donkey meet and go to the horses house for drinks.
On the walls of the horses house are medals trophies and ribbons.
Donkey asks: "what are all the rewards from?"
Horse:"I used to race and I was pretty good so I won all these medals and trophies"
After they finished drinking,...

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Me: I'm afraid of corpses and donkeys

My therapist: Deadass?

Me: *screams*

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What were the bees and the donkeys talking about?

None of your bees’n’ass.

Why are donkeys happy?

They're hung like a horse

2 farmers are fighting over their donkeys.

They can't tell the donkeys apart so the first farmer says "I'll cut my the tail of my donkey off so that we can tell."

A few days later the donkeys get into a fight and the other donkey gets it's tail bitten off.

The other farmer says "I'll cut my donkey's ear off so I know it's mine...

I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys..

It's called "peace of ass"

I once knew a Formula 1 driver who had a day job trucking donkeys.

He was never a good driver, but he hauled ass!

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I saw a truck with donkeys in the trailer...

It was hauling ass.

What do you call a bunch of upper-class British gentlemen bereft of donkeys?

Assless Chaps.

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

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Two guys are trekking through the Russian Arctic with their two Donkeys.

They both stop for a moment to take in the scenery.
Guy #1: I have to piss so badly.
Guy #2: Again???????????? We just did this five minutes ago.
Guy #1: But I really have to go.
Guy #2: Alright, but hurry up! I'm freezing my ass off!

A patient tells his doctor he dreams about playing soccer with donkeys every night

The **doctor** responds, "No need to worry, I've got just the right medicine for you".

Immediately the **patient** whimpers, "Well, can you prescribe me the medication tomorrow".

The **doctor** chuckles, "Why?".

The **patient** states, "*Tonight is our finals*".

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