Another good thing to come out of the Supreme Court forcing Trump to disclose his taxes

We're gonna finally learn if having teenage hookers pee on your face is claimed as entertainment expense or medical.

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

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I dreamt I was forced to work on a pirate ship. The captain was the supreme authority and only allowed males. Plus the only food allowed was potatoes.

It was a dick tater ship.

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Vladimir Putin is hosting a summit with Donald Trump, Kim Jong-Un, and Justin Trudeau.

As a part of the summit, Putin takes the three leaders to a wilderness area outside of Moscow and dismisses the press corps, and a large wolf in a cage is brought out.


"Friends, this savage wolf was trapped and brought from the wilds of Siberia just yesterday. I want to show you what ki...

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old mate, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the boss...

But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big ...

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At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

I like to imagine supreme court is just like regular court...

but with tomatoes and sour cream.

A philosopher asks a question to his student: "Who is smarter, the common cat or the loyal dog?"

The students looks confused and responds with another question: "Can you give me context, teacher?"
The wise philosopher nodded. "There once was an owner with a cat and a dog. He died. Because there was no more food given by the owner, the cat and the dog were left hungry and alone. The cat, havi...

I recently bought a Supreme Leader Snoke toy at the store.

The price was definitely worth it since it was half off.

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What do you call a homosexual supreme ruler with neither conservative nor liberal views?

Mod Czar Gay

They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book

That must be why everyone calls him the 'supreme reader'.

Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.

He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.

What size soda does Kim Jong-Un buy at 7-11?

A supreme liter.

Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!

Because he is the supreme ruler.

Did you hear about that decision the Supreme Court handed down without Justice Ginsburg?

It was ruthless.

The Supreme Court may decide a case to allow women to legally go topless in public to be equal to men

So far, over 3 million amicus briefs in favor of the plaintiff have been offered.

Eight of the Supreme Court justices, except for Ginsburg, went out on a killing spree, executing everyone they came across.....

... they were Ruthless

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Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

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Introducing: The Karen Infection Collection toy line!

*Wheeze with laughter through your ventilator as you watch your children make short-term memories with... The Karen Infection Collection!*

*They'll love spending their last days playing with their new favorite toys, like Protestor Pete - who comes with accessories like a vial of crocodile tea...

Imagine a world where ducks reign supreme, one of the jobs is that some of the ducks have to pay water to the towns. What is the job called?

An aquaduck(t).

Donald Trump better not remove Justice Ginsberg from the supreme court.

that would be ruthless

Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...

It all comes down to Roe v Wade

Surprise

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought ...

Worried about his Supreme Court confirmation, Brett Kavanaugh decided to unwind by ordering a 16 year old whiskey.

She refused to drink it.

Did you hear about the supremely proper way the Englishman greeted the master fisherman from Jaws?

It was ‘ello, Quint!

If you thought Stephen Strange couldn't be Sorcerer Supreme...

...you'd be Wong.

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The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill.

This isn't for any religious reason. They just haven’t been able to find Three Wise Men in DC. A search for a virgin was also fruitless. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved "supreme leader".

Now they are demanding 1 billion or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate whatever you can.

P.S. I ve donated 5 litres.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter

Kylo Ren, Captain Phasma, and Supreme Leader Snoke pull up to a drive-thru.

"We'll be paying separately."

"Go ahead with The First Order."

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Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?

Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.

Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music?

Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz

Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the roof of the Supreme Court building.

It's the highest court in the land.

TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean!

Justice was served.

Stalin joke

A debate was raging in the supreme Soviet of the USSR.

The left wing wanted to abolish money as an exchange medium, while the right wing wanted to keep it.

Stalin, in his wisdom, suggested a compromise:

"Some people will have money and some people will have no money"

There was once a Musician in North Korea

One day, Kim Jong Un himself calls the musician and asks him to direct a concert for his entertainment. Not daring to say no to the Supreme Leader, he agreed.

So the man assembled the best orchestra in all of Korea to play the piece he composed for the Leader. However when it was time to perf...

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered m...

Where do douchebags settle their dispute?

The Supreme court

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.

One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech-making.

"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times...

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If Mexico sends their rapists to the United States, where does the United States send theirs?

To the Supreme Court.

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi...

A priest, a swami, and a rabbi were arguing as to who were the best at their job. So they decided to go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it to their respective religion. After several hours, they met up again at a local disco to share the result of their venture.

The priest...

yesterday, Judge Thompson issued the longest sentence in the Supreme Court's history,

needless to say, it was run-on.

About 6 months ago I got a promotion

So naturally I wanted to celebrate. On my way home I grabbed a handle of captain and a litre of cola. I invited my friend Frank to have a few drinks with me. We ordered a pizza, played some Mariokart, got drunk and passed out. Nothing crazy.

The next morning Frank was still there (he usually ...

A man called Andrew moved from Cork to Dublin to open a flower shop.

He was quite successful and through great marketing, quality product, and reasonable prices, Andrew's Flowers became the top garden shop in all Dublin. Some monks that had a stall set up nearby took notice and, since attendance at the local parish (and the accompanying tithing revenue) was way down,...

What is the difference between Yes and No?

Don’t worry, the Supreme Court doesn’t know either.

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What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court?

The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people,
the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.

The year is 2135, and the US and Russia are the only 2 remaining nations.

After a century of warfare, the two nations expanded their borders, annexing an country that stood in it's way.

Both nations, hungering for world domination, have been at war with each other for over 20 years, and have decided that the fighting would never end, as the two were so closely matc...

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The KKK recently announced that male Asian porn stars are welcome to join the Klan

As they too are a part of he supreme cockasian race

Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets.

Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?

What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon?

One Supreme Litre.

Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high?

Because they have a supreme reader

I just read an article in the news that Kim Jong Un reads more than 1,000 books a year...

I guess that’s why they call him the Supreme Reader.

Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?

Because he is their Supreme Reader

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When I was growing up, I went to school with a boy named Justin Reimer.

Now, Justin's father was a Supreme Court Justice, and like father like son, Justin was the head of every political club in our school. Graduation came, he was accepted into Harvard's School of Law (to no one's surprise), and that was the last I saw of him. Or so I thought...

Twenty years late...

Kim Jong Un was given an international literary award a couple days ago...

... but nobody should be surprised; he is the Supreme Reader.

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A theologician went to an isolated tribe...

The isolated Tiktik tribe living in the middle of the Borneo jungle had recently come into contact with the outside world. A theologician from a Christian university was sent to the Tiktiks to spread the word of the Bible. The Tiktik chief had quickly learned the English language after first contact...

What's Papa John's favorite pizza?

The White Supreme

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A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer

to “Where do pets come from?”

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day.

Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult
for us to remember how much you love us.”

And God said, I will create a compa...

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you if you don't...

Statue of Pushkin

Meeting of Cultural commission of Supreme Soviet of USSR, 1950. Consensus on commissioning of giant statue of Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin, russian poet.

1st possibility - Pushkin sitting in chair, reading a book of Generalissimus Stalin. - historically impossible, denied.

2nd possibi...

Why are the gardens of Pyongyang so immaculate?

Because they have a supreme weeder.

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A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer

It's September 1793, in Paris, France. A crowd of several thousand has gathered at the Place de la Concorde.

A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer are lined up for execution. All three women are accused of conspiring against the Revolutionary government.

Nodding to the smiling crowd, the ...

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I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

What is Zamasu's favorite tea to down?

Supreme Chai

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

What does the United States and North Korea have in common?

Supreme is an overrated word

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...

IPhone X sales have dropped in North-Korea..

Apparently one supreme face unlocks them all......

What was Kim Jong Un's favorite class in school?

Literature. He is a supreme reader after all.

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