Dinner Time Jokes

A woman is preparing dinner for her parents and sends her husband out to buy some fresh snails. The husband buys the snails then pops into a friends house. By the time he leaves it's nine in the evening. Realizing he's extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails over the path leading to h... read more

They avalunch.

Apparently when she asked me to turn on the veg, fingering her disabled sister isn't what she meant.

When it choo's quietly.

The registrar asks her a few background questions.

How many kids do you have? I have 8 boys, she says
Ok - what’s the name of the first one? John, she says
Ok - what’s the name of the second one? John, she says
The registrar says - they are both named John? Yes - she replies.
Ok ... read more

The boy sees a worm trying to crawl into an anthill. "I bet fifty bucks that I can get that worm into that anthill!" says the boy. "Your on," says the grandfather. "That worm is too wiggly."

The boy runs into the house, comes back with a can of hairspray, and sprays it on the worm until the ... read more

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing a... read more