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If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome…

I guess now it's clear why everybody calls me handsome.

My wife asked me which of her friends I would want to have a threesome with.

Apparently I was only supposed to pick one.

The Greeks invented the threesome

But it was the Romans who thought of adding women.

Three people in a bed is called a threesome

Two people in a bed is called a twosome.
Now you know why people call you handsome.

I damn near had a threesome last night...

Just needed 2 more people.

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I encountered a milf at a bar last night

although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little ...

What do a ring, a baby, and a threesome have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.

I shouldn't have named two.

Have you ever had a threesome?

No. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at the same time, I’d have dinner with my parents.

Some people get to experience threesome

Most people get to experience twosome

Guess I'll just have to live with being handsome

I organized a threesome last week.

There was a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

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Last night I had a threesome with two thai prostitutes it was like winning the lottery...

Six balls...

What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they offered a threesome?

NaBrO

Girl asked me if I want to do the threesome...

Well, if I were to disappoint two people at same time I'd go for a dinner with my parents

Got asked by two Thai girls if I wanted a threesome. They said it would be like winning the lottery...

...to my horror they were right, we had six matching balls.

A man is constantly asking his wife for a threesome for his birthday

and every year the wife says no.

This continues on for several years, until finally the wife has enough and finally agrees.

“Ok George, yes you can have your damn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?”

George quickly responds with... “Well, do you remember Sarah who works i...

Man: Father, I have sinned. I had a threesome last night....

It was with two, beautiful, gorgeous young women who did everything I wanted and kept coming back for more, all night long.

Priest: son, although you did a bad thing outside of marriage, you are forgiven.

Man: I don't want forgiveness...

Priest: then why are you telling me?
<...

Has a threesome with 2 anorexic women

2 birds, 1 stone

This year my wife was struggling for ideas on what to get me for my birthday.

I said that for my birthday, I would like a threesome. I've never had one before, and I would feel like less of a creep if she organized it.

She was surprisingly on-board. She said that she had a friend from college who would probably be up for it.

But I think I ruined the night when ...

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[NSFW] On Cyber Monday, I got a great deal on a threesome porno

It was a 2-in-1 special

As a lad I never understood threesome.

Why would I want to disappoint 2 ladies at the same time.

Threesome

We've been thinking about this for a long time now, and we finally made the decision to try it. A threesome, that is.

We are 1 man, looking for 2 women...

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Someone showed me a porn movie with 2 dudes and one girl and said that it's called threesome

I said it's a DVD

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This woman offers him a “threesome” that he simply couldn’t refuse

I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a lady who must have been in her 60s. In fact, she wasn’t bad at all!
I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers and then she asked me if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s...

My wife's mad at me because last night she asked me if I could have a threesome which of her friends would I choose.

I guess I probably shouldn't have chosen 2 of them.

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If 2 people fucking is called a twosome, and 3 people fucking is called a threesome

The next time someone calls you handsome, don’t take it as a compliment

Dear men, when your girlfriend suggest which of her friends you want to be included in a threesome..

You are supposed to tell one name , not two..

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience...

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Homosexuals have ruined threesomes for me.

Every time I have one, both of the other dudes turn out to be gay.

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For my birthday, my girlfriend said I could either have a Rolex or a threesome.

Both sound cool in theory, but a Rolex is expensive and there's no way I would be able to please 2 women when I can barely last 30 seconds with my girlfriend. I'd get too nervous. But at the same time my girlfriend's best friend Aimee is really fucking hot.

After my birthday dinner my girlfr...

My friend invited me to a threesome with a super hot girl.

We were going for about an hour, it was great. Then I asked “So when’s this girl getting here?”

I had a threesome some days ago...

Two people didn't show up tho, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

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Just had sex with my bipolar girlfriend

Best threesome of my life!

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I went on one of them sex sites, and I managed to line up a threesome!

A couple of no-shows but I still had fun

(NSFW) What did Andy's wife say after she finally agreed to a threesome?

You got a friend in me.

You've heard of threesomes and foursomes

I guess that's why they call me handsome

Two men, Mark and Steve and a woman were having a threesome

And suddenly they hear the woman's husband pulling into drive way. Startled, men could not find proper places to hide. Mark goes into cupboard and Steve climbs into attic, hoping that husband wouldn't notice.

Husband enters the bedroom, sees his wife lying naked and goes into bed with her. Fe...

My wife’s asked for a threesome

The dude she brought back is a pain in the ass

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[NSFW] Three men are discussing their sex lives

James said "My sex life is amazing! I have threesomes every day."

Jack said "Lucky you. I'm stuck with twosomes."

They both turn to John expectantly. "So John, how is your sex life?"

John thought for a while, then said "Wholesome, I guess."

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Jesus and Moses are golfing in a threesome.

Moses tees off first and uncorks a high sailing slice. The ball plops into the middle of a lake. Unperturbed, Moses walks to the edge of the lake, raises his club, and the waters part. Moses chips onto the green.

Jesus tees off next. He blades a worm-burner that heads for the lake, skipping ...

Did you hear about that new threesome adult film starring a physicist?

It's called, "The Double-slit Experiment".

I told my wife that a girl at work really wanted to have a threesome and that I should see if my wife would be ok with it? After some persuading, and reassuring her that it would strengthen out relationship she said yes, so today we finally did it, and it was amazing!

I cant wait to tell her all about it when she gets home.

What do you call a Muppet threesome?

Menage-a-trois

*doo doooo do-doo do*

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Are you into threesome sex?

Then go to your girlfriend's house! You're the only one missing!

My wife asked me the other day in bed "if you could have a threesome with me and anyone living or dead, who would it be?" And I said

"Anyone living."

My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a threesome with two hot princesses?"

I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.

What do you call a threesome in an oasis?

A Mirage à trois.

Why can’t you lose in a threesome with Vietnamese twins?

Because it’s a Ngyuen-Ngyuen.

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I've been in a couple of threesomes.

Usually the other guy will be getting oral and I'll be hitting it from behind. I've found that as long as I don't make eye contact with the guy on the other end, or the guy in the middle, it doesn't feel gay.

Mother Daughter Threesome

My friend Ethan recently met a beautiful woman at a bar. Ethan is 22. She’s 57. He’s never been “with a much older woman, but he thinks hey, why not, she’s hot. They drink and flirt all night. Suddenly she asks Ethan if he’s ever had a mother and daughter threesome. He says no.


They drink...

Normally I’d never be one for a threesome.

But when my best friend asked to join him and this really hot girl, I had to. Because I’m a really good friend and all. So we go over to his place and get after it, and we had been going for a while and I was starting to get exhausted.


Then I asked “When is the girl showing up?”

my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl

i replied "nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"

I Had A Threesome With My Best Friend and His Girlfriend

After the first 45 minutes I told him, "I don't think she's coming."

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I told my wife i wanted a threesome for my birthday

She was really pissed off when she found out she was neither of the 2 girls!

9/11 Threesome.

When twins go down on you.

Do you want to know the real reason I can’t be part of a threesome?

I can only handle disappointing one person at a time.

I once had a threesome with identical twins.

Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

What do you call a threesome with two Vietnamese chicks?

A Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin.......

I asked how he could tell them apart. He said "Her brother has a mustache."

Some of my friends have experienced threesome,

And some of them might have had some foursome or more,

Here I am, stuck on being handsome.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

(NSFW) So me and a couple of my friends agreed to a threesome

And we went at it for forty five minutes, slapping cheeks, swearing, sweating but then I stop and I ask him, “Hey bro, when is she getting here?”

I came home to the sight of my best friend on my bed with my wife.

It really made me appreciate our friendship so much more that he went through all that trouble of digging her out of the grave, just for the sake of a threesome.

It's remarkable that he was able to do that despite being a dog.

I think of threesomes with my girlfriend like I think of baseball...

Four balls, and I walk.

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Having a threesome with a mom and daughter

So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to m...

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I proposed a threesome to my wife. And she said yes.

So this weekend its going to be my stupid fucking ideas, the sofa and me.

had a threesome with two anorexic girls last night...

... Two birds one stone

My girlfriend finally agreed to a threesome!

Can't wait to tell her about the other two girls I have in mind

A threesome!

So a Polack brags to his buddy, "Man, what a night I had last night. I had a threesome!"

"Really?" his buddy says. "A threesome?"

"Yep," says the Polack. "With twins!"

His buddy says, "Twins! That's awesome! But let me ask you: how could you tell them apart?"

And the Pola...

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