If foursome mean four people, threesome means three people

What does handsome mean

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to do a threesome...

I told her, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'll go have dinner with my parents.

My wife asked me which of her friends I would like to have a threesome with.

Apparently I’m not supposed to pick two of them.

The Greeks invented the threesome

But it was the Romans who thought of adding women.

What do a ring, a baby, and a threesome have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they offered a threesome?

NaBrO

As a lad I never understood threesome.

Why would I want to disappoint 2 ladies at the same time.

Threesome

We've been thinking about this for a long time now, and we finally made the decision to try it. A threesome, that is.

We are 1 man, looking for 2 women...

My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.

I shouldn't have named two.

Dear men, when your girlfriend suggest which of her friends you want to be included in a threesome..

You are supposed to tell one name , not two..

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience...

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Someone showed me a porn movie with 2 dudes and one girl and said that it's called threesome

I said it's a DVD

You've heard of threesomes and foursomes

I guess that's why they call me handsome

I almost had a threesome last night!

I only needed 2 more people.

My wife's mad at me because last night she asked me if I could have a threesome which of her friends would I choose.

I guess I probably shouldn't have chosen 2 of them.

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[NSFW] Three men are discussing their sex lives

James said "My sex life is amazing! I have threesomes every day."

Jack said "Lucky you. I'm stuck with twosomes."

They both turn to John expectantly. "So John, how is your sex life?"

John thought for a while, then said "Wholesome, I guess."

My wife’s asked for a threesome

The dude she brought back is a pain in the ass

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If 2 people fucking is called a twosome, and 3 people fucking is called a threesome

The next time someone calls you handsome, don’t take it as a compliment

Girl asked me if I want to do the threesome...

Well, if I were to disappoint two people at same time I'd go for a dinner with my parents

Last night I had my first threesome

I had two late cancellation but I still had a good time.

Got asked by two Thai girls if I wanted a threesome. They said it would be like winning the lottery...

...to my horror they were right, we had six matching balls.

A man is constantly asking his wife for a threesome for his birthday

and every year the wife says no.

This continues on for several years, until finally the wife has enough and finally agrees.

“Ok George, yes you can have your damn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?”

George quickly responds with... “Well, do you remember Sarah who works i...

Sportsmans Double

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a m...

My friend invited me to a threesome with a super hot girl.

We were going for about an hour, it was great. Then I asked “So when’s this girl getting here?”

I too once dated a twin

The best part was my girlfriends twin was down to have threesomes every now and than.

It really didn't hurt that her twin was much better looking than her, had a much nicer body than her too, was really nice all the time to me, just an all-around really great guy.

LPT: After a bad break up, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You'll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back.

She would never do a threesome with me. Is it possible now

Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed

A threesome with my wife.

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Winter in the Caribbean

Two women go on holiday in the Caribbean. They meet an attractive black man and both woman decide to have a threesome with him. Next morning during breakfast one of the woman ask the man his name. He replies, “ My name is Snow”. The other woman starts laughing. Confused, Snow asks, “What’s so funny?...

(NSFW) What did Andy's wife say after she finally agreed to a threesome?

You got a friend in me.

Man: Father, I have sinned. I had a threesome last night....

It was with two, beautiful, gorgeous young women who did everything I wanted and kept coming back for more, all night long.

Priest: son, although you did a bad thing outside of marriage, you are forgiven.

Man: I don't want forgiveness...

Priest: then why are you telling me?
<...

Two men, Mark and Steve and a woman were having a threesome

And suddenly they hear the woman's husband pulling into drive way. Startled, men could not find proper places to hide. Mark goes into cupboard and Steve climbs into attic, hoping that husband wouldn't notice.

Husband enters the bedroom, sees his wife lying naked and goes into bed with her. Fe...

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I went on one of them sex sites, and I managed to line up a threesome!

A couple of no-shows but I still had fun

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Jesus and Moses are golfing in a threesome.

Moses tees off first and uncorks a high sailing slice. The ball plops into the middle of a lake. Unperturbed, Moses walks to the edge of the lake, raises his club, and the waters part. Moses chips onto the green.

Jesus tees off next. He blades a worm-burner that heads for the lake, skipping ...

Did you hear about that new threesome adult film starring a physicist?

It's called, "The Double-slit Experiment".

I had a threesome some days ago...

Two people didn't show up tho, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

My wife asked me the other day in bed "if you could have a threesome with me and anyone living or dead, who would it be?" And I said

"Anyone living."

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Are you into threesome sex?

Then go to your girlfriend's house! You're the only one missing!

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For my birthday, my girlfriend said I could either have a Rolex or a threesome.

Both sound cool in theory, but a Rolex is expensive and there's no way I would be able to please 2 women when I can barely last 30 seconds with my girlfriend. I'd get too nervous. But at the same time my girlfriend's best friend Aimee is really fucking hot.

After my birthday dinner my girlfr...

I came home to the sight of my best friend on my bed with my wife.

It really made me appreciate our friendship so much more that he went through all that trouble of digging her out of the grave, just for the sake of a threesome.

It's remarkable that he was able to do that despite being a dog.

I told my wife that a girl at work really wanted to have a threesome and that I should see if my wife would be ok with it? After some persuading, and reassuring her that it would strengthen out relationship she said yes, so today we finally did it, and it was amazing!

I cant wait to tell her all about it when she gets home.

What is an Eiffel Tower?

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a head. The guys are high-fiving over the girl!

Girl: Ewww - get your hands away!!

Me: But then its just a London Bridge!

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I don't understand why guys get really excited over threesomes. I much rather stay home and masturbate

I reckon a bird in hand is worth two in bush

My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a threesome with two hot princesses?"

I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.

(NSFW) Indecent Proposal

After years of begging my wife to let me have a threesome, she finally agreed. When she asked who I had in mind, I told her these two girls I work with.

Why can’t you lose in a threesome with Vietnamese twins?

Because it’s a Ngyuen-Ngyuen.

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I told my wife i wanted a threesome for my birthday

She was really pissed off when she found out she was neither of the 2 girls!

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I've been in a couple of threesomes.

Usually the other guy will be getting oral and I'll be hitting it from behind. I've found that as long as I don't make eye contact with the guy on the other end, or the guy in the middle, it doesn't feel gay.

I once had a threesome with identical twins.

Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

What do you call a threesome in an oasis?

A Mirage à trois.

Mother Daughter Threesome

My friend Ethan recently met a beautiful woman at a bar. Ethan is 22. She’s 57. He’s never been “with a much older woman, but he thinks hey, why not, she’s hot. They drink and flirt all night. Suddenly she asks Ethan if he’s ever had a mother and daughter threesome. He says no.


They drink...

Some of my friends have experienced threesome,

And some of them might have had some foursome or more,

Here I am, stuck on being handsome.

Normally I’d never be one for a threesome.

But when my best friend asked to join him and this really hot girl, I had to. Because I’m a really good friend and all. So we go over to his place and get after it, and we had been going for a while and I was starting to get exhausted.


Then I asked “When is the girl showing up?”

I Had A Threesome With My Best Friend and His Girlfriend

After the first 45 minutes I told him, "I don't think she's coming."

So my friend had a threesome last night, and was telling her blonde friend about it

My friend says, “I slept with two Brazilian men last night.”

Her friend asks, “Wait... how many zeroes are there in a Brazilian?”

What do you call a threesome with two Vietnamese chicks?

A Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

What's two short of a threesome?

A handsome.

Last night I had an amazing threesome with two A-list celebrities near-namesakes

Handjalina Jolie and Jennifer Handiston

9/11 Threesome.

When twins go down on you.

my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl

i replied "nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"

Do you want to know the real reason I can’t be part of a threesome?

I can only handle disappointing one person at a time.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

(NSFW) So me and a couple of my friends agreed to a threesome

And we went at it for forty five minutes, slapping cheeks, swearing, sweating but then I stop and I ask him, “Hey bro, when is she getting here?”

Why did Princess Leia refuse a threesome ?

Because she preferred Han SOLO.

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I proposed a threesome to my wife. And she said yes.

So this weekend its going to be my stupid fucking ideas, the sofa and me.

My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin.......

I asked how he could tell them apart. He said "Her brother has a mustache."

had a threesome with two anorexic girls last night...

... Two birds one stone

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Different sayings same thing

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

 5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus ...

I think of threesomes with my girlfriend like I think of baseball...

Four balls, and I walk.

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I am sick of being handsome.

It hurts my hands, that’s why I want to try threesome or foursome.

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon.

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon. It's sinking fast. They need to throw something out that they have a lot of or they will crash into the houses below. The Scottish man throws out a haggis. English man throws out a cup of tea. The American throws out a bomb. They ...

A threesome!

So a Polack brags to his buddy, "Man, what a night I had last night. I had a threesome!"

"Really?" his buddy says. "A threesome?"

"Yep," says the Polack. "With twins!"

His buddy says, "Twins! That's awesome! But let me ask you: how could you tell them apart?"

And the Pola...

A priest was finishing up Sunday service

He was just saying farewell to the last of the parishioners and was about to close the doors when a man burst in. "I'm so sorry father! Please forgive my intrusion, but I must confess!"

The priest sighs, "Very well my son, we won't worry about going into the confessional booth, just take a se...

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I was invited to a threesome by a bisexual couple, I said no...

...I don't want to cum between a man and his wife.

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