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I met a lovely lady last night.

Although she was 57 she was very sexy and funny, she asked me
if I fancied a Mother-Daughter threesome? I jumped at the chance,so we went back to her place, she took out her door keys and opened the door, turned on the light.

And shouts out, "Mum are you still awake."

My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.

Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to pick two of them.

I organized a threesome last week.

There was a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

Some people get to experience threesome

Most people get to experience twosome

Guess I'll just have to live with being handsome

Has a threesome with 2 anorexic women

2 birds, 1 stone

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I encountered a milf at a bar last night

although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little ...

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Last night I had a threesome with two thai prostitutes it was like winning the lottery...

Six balls...

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to do a threesome...

I told her, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'll go have dinner with my parents.

Three people in a bed is called a threesome

Two people in a bed is called a twosome.
Now you know why people call you handsome.

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Sex with 4 people is called a foursome

Sex with 3 people is called a threesome. No wonder some people are called handsome

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[NSFW] On Cyber Monday, I got a great deal on a threesome porno

It was a 2-in-1 special

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Just had sex with my bipolar girlfriend

Best threesome of my life!

Sportsmans Double

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a m...

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Winter in the Caribbean

Two women go on holiday in the Caribbean. They meet an attractive black man and both woman decide to have a threesome with him. Next morning during breakfast one of the woman ask the man his name. He replies, “ My name is Snow”. The other woman starts laughing. Confused, Snow asks, “What’s so funny?...

LPT: After a bad break up, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You'll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back.

She would never do a threesome with me. Is it possible now

Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed

A threesome with my wife.

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Someone showed me a porn movie with 2 dudes and one girl and said that it's called threesome

I said it's a DVD

What is an Eiffel Tower?

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a head. The guys are high-fiving over the girl!

Girl: Ewww - get your hands away!!

Me: But then its just a London Bridge!

What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they offered a threesome?

NaBrO

I came home to the sight of my best friend on my bed with my wife.

It really made me appreciate our friendship so much more that he went through all that trouble of digging her out of the grave, just for the sake of a threesome.

It's remarkable that he was able to do that despite being a dog.

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[NSFW] Three men are discussing their sex lives

James said "My sex life is amazing! I have threesomes every day."

Jack said "Lucky you. I'm stuck with twosomes."

They both turn to John expectantly. "So John, how is your sex life?"

John thought for a while, then said "Wholesome, I guess."

One friend asks another "do you like threesome?"

\- "Of course!"

\- "Then hurry back home. Maybe you'll get on time."

The Greeks invented the threesome...

...but it was the Romans who thought of adding women.

What do a ring, a baby, and a threesome have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

As a lad I never understood threesome.

Why would I want to disappoint 2 ladies at the same time.

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I am sick of being handsome.

It hurts my hands, that’s why I want to try threesome or foursome.

Threesome

We've been thinking about this for a long time now, and we finally made the decision to try it. A threesome, that is.

We are 1 man, looking for 2 women...

My favorite Engineering Joke (Thinking like an engineer)

A threesome is playing golf on a very nice golf course; a preacher, a doctor and an engineer. They're moving along really slow because the foursome in front of them is playing too slow. They catch up to one of the caddies from the foursome and ask him, "Hey can we play through?"

The caddie ...

My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.

I shouldn't have named two.

You've heard of threesomes and foursomes

I guess that's why they call me handsome

A priest was finishing up Sunday service

He was just saying farewell to the last of the parishioners and was about to close the doors when a man burst in. "I'm so sorry father! Please forgive my intrusion, but I must confess!"

The priest sighs, "Very well my son, we won't worry about going into the confessional booth, just take a se...

My wife's mad at me because last night she asked me if I could have a threesome which of her friends would I choose.

I guess I probably shouldn't have chosen 2 of them.

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If 2 people fucking is called a twosome, and 3 people fucking is called a threesome

The next time someone calls you handsome, don’t take it as a compliment

Last night I had my first threesome

I had two late cancellation but I still had a good time.

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Homosexuals have ruined threesomes for me.

Every time I have one, both of the other dudes turn out to be gay.

(NSFW) Indecent Proposal

After years of begging my wife to let me have a threesome, she finally agreed. When she asked who I had in mind, I told her these two girls I work with.

My friend invited me to a threesome with a super hot girl.

We were going for about an hour, it was great. Then I asked “So when’s this girl getting here?”

My wife’s asked for a threesome

The dude she brought back is a pain in the ass

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon.

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon. It's sinking fast. They need to throw something out that they have a lot of or they will crash into the houses below. The Scottish man throws out a haggis. English man throws out a cup of tea. The American throws out a bomb. They ...

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Different sayings same thing

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

 5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus ...

After two years of a marriage...

Mother in law: it is time for you guys become 3 from 2

Daughter in law: I know, I have been asking your son to try a threesome but he refuses....

What’s the worst time for friendly fire?

In the middle of a threesome.

I was drinking at a dive bar, met a really attractive 47 yr old woman.

She looked great for her age. We ordered another drink and she asked me if I’ve ever had a “Sportsman Double?”

I scratched my head and asked “What’s that?”

She replied “It’s a mother daughter threesome.”

I told her “No” with a smirk and we had 3 to 4 more rounds. The conversatio...

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I went on one of them sex sites, and I managed to line up a threesome!

A couple of no-shows but I still had fun

A man is constantly asking his wife for a threesome for his birthday

and every year the wife says no.

This continues on for several years, until finally the wife has enough and finally agrees.

“Ok George, yes you can have your damn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?”

George quickly responds with... “Well, do you remember Sarah who works i...

Dear men, when your girlfriend suggest which of her friends you want to be included in a threesome..

You are supposed to tell one name , not two..

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience...

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A guys sitting at a bar.

A guy sitting at the bar having a quiet drink by himself. Soon a middle age woman sat down next to him and strike up a conversations. The subject soon turned to sex and the woman asked him if he ever heard of the "huntman's special?" Admitting that he never heard of it, he asked what "What is it...

Two men, Mark and Steve and a woman were having a threesome

And suddenly they hear the woman's husband pulling into drive way. Startled, men could not find proper places to hide. Mark goes into cupboard and Steve climbs into attic, hoping that husband wouldn't notice.

Husband enters the bedroom, sees his wife lying naked and goes into bed with her. Fe...

A re-written joke from this sub

A guy in this late twenties is sitting at a bar alone, when he sees a woman sitting across the bar. She's attractive for her age, but she's probably around 60 the guy guesses.
He finds his mind wondering, thinking if she was 20 years younger she'd be an absolute dime. And as he is in this imagin...

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I had a friend who was a virgin and everyone called him "Handsome John"

I thought why everyone called him Handsome although he was ugly, then I learned how "threesome" works.

Did you hear about that new threesome adult film starring a physicist?

It's called, "The Double-slit Experiment".

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Too good not to share..

\*1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!\*


\*2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panti...

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A guy attends an appointment with a psychiatrist...

The doctor tells him he's going to administer the Rorschach (ink blot) test.

The Doc shows him the first ink blot and asks him what he sees.

The guy says, " The tip of a man's penis against a woman's back."

"And the second ink blot?"

The guy answers, "Two women making lov...

What’s the worst part about having two dads?

The threesomes.

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I don't understand why guys get really excited over threesomes. I much rather stay home and masturbate

I reckon a bird in hand is worth two in bush

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Latest scam warning.

Police are warning people of a new scam being perpetrated at various mall and supermarket car parks.

When the intended victim - almost always male - has loaded their shopping into their car they are approached by two or three female teenagers who will ask or beg for help. The story is usually...

My wife asked me the other day in bed "if you could have a threesome with me and anyone living or dead, who would it be?" And I said

"Anyone living."

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Are you into threesome sex?

Then go to your girlfriend's house! You're the only one missing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife visit Las Vegas for their 15th anniversary. Being the spontaneous couple they always have been the husband decides that their first night he will do all the planning.

They go out a fancy steak dinner and he pays extra to have the band sing their wedding song tableside and serenade his wife. She melts.

He then takes her to a magic show and pays extra to have her involved in the main act as the woman who disappears within the act. She is beaming with joy....

A man comes to Jail.

His new cellmate warns him to drop the soap while showering. As expected, the new inmate falls down the Soap while showering. He looks around and wants to pick it up. Suddenly a big shadow appears. A bear of a man stands behind him and asks: "With spit or without?" The new inmate answers in total fe...

I told my wife that a girl at work really wanted to have a threesome and that I should see if my wife would be ok with it? After some persuading, and reassuring her that it would strengthen out relationship she said yes, so today we finally did it, and it was amazing!

I cant wait to tell her all about it when she gets home.

Some of my friends have experienced threesome,

And some of them might have had some foursome or more,

Here I am, stuck on being handsome.

I had a threesome some days ago...

Two people didn't show up tho, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

I once had a threesome with identical twins.

Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

A man gets off the prison bus

A man gets arrested and is getting off the prison bus

As soon as he gets inside the walls the biggest inmate in there backs him into a corner

Inmate says "alright, this is going to happen either way, the only choice I'm gonna give you, spit or no spit"

The man, shaking and sweat...

(NSFW) So me and a couple of my friends agreed to a threesome

And we went at it for forty five minutes, slapping cheeks, swearing, sweating but then I stop and I ask him, “Hey bro, when is she getting here?”

A man goes to confession

He confesses to the priest that he had a threesome with his wife's friends the other night.

The priest replies, "nice."

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I feel like this is a good joke worded poorly. Comment if you have a better version of this joke

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What do you call 5 black guys having sex?

A threesome

A young man is sitting in a bar looking sad.

Bartender: What’s the matter son?

Man: My marriage is over.

Bartender: What happened?

Man: Tracy, my high school sweetheart and I just got married last month. We waited till the wedding night to consummate our love. But it didn’t go so well.

Bartender: That‘s pretty co...

Babe come over.

Person: Ok, I’m already having a threesome with this couple.

Girlfriend: But I’m home alone.

Person: I know.

Why can’t you lose in a threesome with Vietnamese twins?

Because it’s a Ngyuen-Ngyuen.

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I told my wife i wanted a threesome for my birthday

She was really pissed off when she found out she was neither of the 2 girls!

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Jesus and Moses are golfing in a threesome.

Moses tees off first and uncorks a high sailing slice. The ball plops into the middle of a lake. Unperturbed, Moses walks to the edge of the lake, raises his club, and the waters part. Moses chips onto the green.

Jesus tees off next. He blades a worm-burner that heads for the lake, skipping ...

Why did Princess Leia refuse a threesome ?

Because she preferred Han SOLO.

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I've been in a couple of threesomes.

Usually the other guy will be getting oral and I'll be hitting it from behind. I've found that as long as I don't make eye contact with the guy on the other end, or the guy in the middle, it doesn't feel gay.

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I proposed a threesome to my wife. And she said yes.

So this weekend its going to be my stupid fucking ideas, the sofa and me.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

My girlfriend told me that she loves me like the way she loves her brother

Only time that I wasn’t happy being invited to a threesome

A threesome!

So a Polack brags to his buddy, "Man, what a night I had last night. I had a threesome!"

"Really?" his buddy says. "A threesome?"

"Yep," says the Polack. "With twins!"

His buddy says, "Twins! That's awesome! But let me ask you: how could you tell them apart?"

And the Pola...

Do you want to know the real reason I can’t be part of a threesome?

I can only handle disappointing one person at a time.

A man named Adam is being sent to prison

On the first day in the shower he is approached by a giant muscular inmate who asks him intimidatingly

"With or without spit?!"

The man (Adam) thinks to himself that it will happen no matter what and that it might hurt less with spit so he frighteningly stammers

"With spit"
...

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

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