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Diagnoses Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor diagnoses someone with diabetes

Doc: Your diagnosis is type 2 diabetes.

Patient: It runs in my family.

Doc: Nothing runs in your family, you fat cunt

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you...

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you, one is that you have worst diarrhoea I have ever seen.
Patient: what's the other one then?
Doctor: you also have very bad amnesia, you can't remember anything from last 15 seconds.
Patient: well at least I don't have diarrhoea.

Quick Diagnoses

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young doctor accompany him on his rounds, so that the community could become used to the new one.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my s...

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