Mcconnell Jokes

Mitch McConnell goes to the doctor for a regular checkup. The doctor checks his heart. Then he checks his breathing, his eyes and ears. He does the works. After finishing checking him up and just before sending him out the door McConnell asks.

McConnell: “Hey doc I’d like to donate my body to... read more

He finally brought a motion to the floor.

Frozen.

It will now be called "Different Strokes"

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.

Trump explains to the man, “We’re going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.”

The man exclaims, “Why... read more

since he's clearly missing his spine.

when they heard he was a minority leader.

Snakes definitely have spines.

...350 turtle years.

In light of the present threat created by North Korea, the Irish army decided to conduct the largest military exercise ever in it's history. The entirety of its armed forces were split between the north and south of the island. This is the story of the North Irish 5th infantry battalion.
Each sol... read more

Mitch better have my bunny.

It's a obese snapping turtle

Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.

Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"

McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."

Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my cam... read more

they're all like mitch mcconnell's hands

some shade of purple.

I want nothing.

I want nothing.

Just tell McConnell to do the right thing.

...you’d have 99 problems and a Mitch ain’t one.