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Giuliani Jokes

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

What do me and Rudy Giuliani have in common?

Neither of us are allowed to practice law in New York.

Rudy Giuliani and a peanut were walking down the street.

One of them was assaulted.

Rudy Giuliani house was searched

So federal investigators searched Giuliano's house today. I thought they would find hair dye, but they didn't. I guess it ran.

What does Rudy Giuliani say to Trump when he can’t hear him?

Pardon me?

Why did Rudy Giuliani fart at the hearing

Since he didn't have clear evidence for fraudulence, he decided to provide a clear evidence of flatulence

What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat?

Depends

After watching Rudy Giuliani press conference it's safe to say....

He is definitely Donald Trump's ride or dye.

Did you hear that Rudy Giuliani has proof of fake ballots and fraud? He says he found a whole stack of 'em.

Yeah, and he's going to be turning them in soon. He just finished printing them, and is waiting for the ink to dry.

Doctors say Rudy Giuliani's white blood cells count was low

but he’s demanding a recount.

Guess what Rudy Giuliani is going to be for Halloween this year??

Hand Stroker’s Drunkula

I paid a guy to steal all of Rudy Giuliani's Milky Ways...

I got him disbarred.

Rudy Giuliani set major press conference at Four Season landscaping instead of Four Seasons Hotel.

Really, does there have to be a punchline?

What did Giuliani say when asked if he was going to file more lawsuits?

Darn tootin'

Rudy Giuliani is such a bad defense attorney that.....

He would have gotten an innocent WHITE man convicted.



Or you could say,



He would have gotten Brock Turner jail time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I feel like Rudy Giuliani's press conference at a landscaping company between a dildo store and a crematorium is still relevant because...

Trump's effort to overturn the election is somewhere between fucked and dead.

Why did Giuliani's business associates get caught at the gate in an airport?

Because they were too Igor to Lev.

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't; he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

Joke about it all you want, but Rudy Giuliani is prepared to fight election fraud all the way up to the Supreme ...

... Courtyard by Marriott

I got a speeding ticket last month and took it to court

Rudy Giuliani was my lawyer and plead me down to second degree murder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Donald Went Down to Georgia

The Donald went down to Georgia.

He was lookin' for a vote to steal.

He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind.

He was willing to make a deal

When he came across this old man givin' a speech and doin' it hot.

And the Donald jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Man...

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