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Conservatives Jokes

How many American conservatives do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Ten.

One holds the bulb, the other nine wait for Fox News to spin it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are male conservatives against mandates?

That would be so gay.



*No need to rough me up, I'll let myself out.*

Why does Florida have so many Conservatives and California have so many earthquakes?

California had first choice!

**just a joke, I respect your right to your opinion and free expression **

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American conservatives are pretty homophobic

for people so proud of their four fathers

"Conservatives hate this one simple trick...!!!"

*Count every vote.*

What are the two things conservatives hate?

The way things are, and change.

Conservatives can't tell jokes

But they sure can elect them

Why can't conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?

Because they have to be liberal with their spices.

What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters?

You'll never de-fetus.

Why are conservatives known as rednecks?

They don’t use sunscreen because the bottle says to apply liberally.

I read that conservatives want to ban CRT.

I'm not happy with that. I can't afford a new television right now.

What do conservatives call medical marijuana?

Medi-sin

r/conservative is furious that their voices are being censored and that people are picking and choosing who can be heard

"This thread is for conservatives only"

Which x-men member is hated by conservatives?

Caitlyn Jenner

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Why do so many conservatives own game consoles?

Because they hate PC culture.

Why aren’t more conservatives protesting the sales of pre-shredded cheese?

I thought we were trying to make America grate again.

How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.





*They're afraid of change - even if it is to make the world a brighter place.*

When I was pregnant I was with the conservatives

But now I'm in Labour

Liberals are more generous than conservatives

Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!

(This is just a joke sorry)

What do conservatives hate about mixed ethnicity math classes?

There's too much integration

You know why I hate conservatives?

They all make huge generalizations about liberals

Conservatives want to repeal Obamacare

and replace it with a single prayer healthcare plan

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