I heard hookers are now offering the "Romney" for $1,000.

It includes every position.

Who is the most technologically savvy politician?

MIT Romney.

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says t...

Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship...

Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?

The answer: AMERICA!!!

Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him...

Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga?

Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top.

How to describe Mitt Romney in two sentences.

I stand by what I said, whatever it is that I said.

I deny saying that, whatever it is that I said.

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A foreigners understanding of Romney - aka homeless people around the world

A homeless man is sitting in London, spreading shit on a piece of bread and the Prime Minister walks by and says: „Oh, you are so poor, have some money.” A homeless man is sitting in Moscow, spreading shit on a piece of bread and Medvedev walks by and says: „Oh, you are so poor, have some meal tick...

So Obama calls Romney....

And says, I got good news and bad news. Romney says "What is it?" Obama says "Well the good news is I think it's time for a Mormon president." "That's great Barack! What's the bad news?" Obama chuckles and says "My baptism is next Sunday"

What's Mitt Romney's favorite make of vehicle?

A Mack truck, because it already has a little dog on top.

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate?

He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

Clocks in Heaven

A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. "Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell ...

Mittens keeping it cool.

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and see a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."

Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose...

Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.

When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.

They see a sign: "Contest for World's Most Beautiful Woman." Snow White goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing a crown.

They walk along and see another sign: "Contest for World's Strongest Man." Superman goes in, later comes out ...

Free Kittens

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket of furry animals; in her hand was a sign that read: FREE KITTENS. Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall grinning man. "Hi there little girl...

HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE

Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.

No power.

Mitt Romney : "8 Million Americans still have no power."

Obama: "8 Million and one."

All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners...

Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do.

Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question.

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