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Death Sentence Jokes

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

Three people were about face death sentence

The first guy was about to be shot and he shouted “TSUNAMI" and everybody rushed to the sea to looked and he escaped
The second guy was about to be shot and he shouted“EARTHQUAKE" and everybody rushed to a safe place and he escaped
The third guy was about to be shot and he shouted“FIRE"
so ...

My Palestinian Cousin's favorite Arabic joke

Two criminals are given the death sentence. Before theyre executed, the warden asks the first man "What is your last request?". The man says "Please, sir, could I see my mother one last time before I go?". The warden turns to an officer and asks him to fetch the man's mother. In the meantime, he ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 death sentenced prisoners wait for the electric chair

3 prisoners are waiting for their eminent death on their execution day. One Black Man, one White Man, and One Moron. The warden walks up and gets everything set up.

He calls the Black Man forward, "John Jones, sentenced for Murder in the first degree. Any last words?"

"I to this day c...

I got the death sentence for making a fence out of large circles.

It was a capital 'O' fence.

A man is on his death sentence and gets to choose his last meal.

So he asks the guard for a romaine lettuce salad, but the guard replies "You can only choose a meal, not how you want to die."

A man steals a train and kill 5 people...

When the time comes for his last meal request, he asks for a single banana, nothing else. The prison guards oblige. The next morning, he's strapped to the electric chair. Guards flip the switch, nothing happens!

Since you only get one shot at the death penalty, the man is released. He goes ri...

John and the Mob Boss

John was serving as a jury member in a high-profile gangster trial. The mob boss's underlings approached John with threats and a bribe:

"There's no way a death sentence will be passed. At worst, it'll be a life sentence." Shaken, John agrees. The trial proceeds, and the jury is sequestered. H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man who was absolutely obsessed with trains one day finally stole one and immediately crashed it, killing several people on board.

At the trial, he is found guilty of multiple murders and is sentenced to death.

Before facing his death sentence, he's offered one last meal, and requests a single banana, which is given to him. The next day, he's led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch... but nothing ha...

If words hurt

Then a picture must be a death sentence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a dictator chose a musician to compose a piece of music.

The musician not wanting to displease the dictator accepted the offer.

One month after the day came. The orchestra shited in the name of music. The dictator got furious and gave him a death sentence. They gave him a spicy curry as his last wish. He sat on the electric chair. They electrocuted...

What’s the worst sentence in the English language?

The death sentence.

Here's the best one I know. It's a bit long...but I have faith in you ;)

A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story...what's important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France - via guillotine.

The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop....

I’m writing a novel about a guy that can kill with words

Working title “Death Sentence”

A condemned man is brought before the firing squad by the executioner...

Before his death sentence is carried out, the executioner tells him “As is customary, you are permitted a ceremonial final cigarette.”

“No, thanks,” says the condemned man. “I’m trying to quit.”

An orchestra is performing Chopin

Halfway through the performance a cellist bursts into the concert hall, late and drunk as a skunk. He then pushes his way to his seat and starts awkwardly sawing away at his cello as if nothing was awry.

The conductor was furious! He snapped his baton and dove at the cellist, choking him to d...

A Train Conductor

One day, this man got hired to be a train conductor. On his first day of the job, he crashed into another train and killed many passengers.

He was given a death sentence and was to be killed by an electric chair. However, after going through the electric chair, he was still alive!

The...

Peter got a job as a train conducter...

On the first day of his job, a random guy without a ticket got past him and on the train without being noticed. This was eventually caught on CCTV and Peter was warned by his boss.

Second day of his work, a group of refugees snuck on the train between carts without Peter noticing and one of t...

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