A Blonde went to buy a Pizza, Chef asked her, would you like it cut into 4 or 8 slices.?

Blonde replied, 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

the police officer said to joe, " we have found your wife cut into pieces, the arms, the legs and the torso, We are sorry for your loss."





"so no head?" joe replied

I love bacon sandwiches cut into little triangles...

Strip clubs are awesome!

What do you called ginger cut into cubes??

a Square Root.



... I'll see myself out

Whats long, black and hard to cut into?

The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion

Three autopsy techs are cutting the corpse at the end of a very long day, as tired and underpaid as usual...

Two of them have cut into stomach, the other one is reading the report about the death of the person.

One of them exclaims: 'Oh, meatloaf! And potatoes!' - He grabs a spoon and starts eating straight from the stomach. The other one follows. - 'Daniel, would you?' - 'No, guys, thank you, I...

A blonde orders a pizza delivery over the phone.

"Would you like your pizza cut into eight pieces, or ten?" asks the voice on the other end.

"Eight, please," replies the blonde.

When the pizza comes, the blonde notices that the pizza has been mistakenly cut into ten pieces. "Hey!" she says. "I asked for my pizza to be cut into eight ...

A football player was famished after a big game, so he ordered a large pizza.

The server asked him if he wanted it cut into 8 or 10 pieces. He said, "Just eight thanks, I'm hungry but I don't think I could eat ten."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Couple Owns the Only Florist Shop in a Small Town

Being a small town, they obviously have 100% of the business. One day, a group of friars opens up a competing shop on the other side of town. The couple aren't too worried though, as they make a comfortable living as is.

A month goes by though and the friars prices are so competitive that the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man

A ninety-one-year-old man went into the pharmacy and asked for viagra tablets, which he wanted cut into quarters.
The pharmacist said, "Sure I can do that for you, but you realise that a quarter of a tablet won't give you a full erection?"
The old man replied, "I'm ninety-one. I'm too old for ...

A man walks into a pizza parlor.

He orders a pizza and the cashier asks him if he wants his pizza cut into 6 slices or 8. To which the man replies "Oh only 6, I couldn't eat 8!"

What's the difference between an onion and a baby.

An onion makes you cry when you cut into it.

A dumb guy calls to yell at the pizza man at his local shop.

“I got this pizza delivered and I specifically asked to have the pie cut into six slices. This pie is cut in eight slices!”



“What’s the big deal?” the pizza man wondered.



“There is no way I’ll be able to eat all these!” the man yelled.

I went to Spain for a holiday (Long)

and on the Sunday everyone went to the biggest restaurant in town. We went there too. The food was really good but during the meal I heard a drum roll.

The kitchen doors opened and the chef and maitre d marched out with a huge cloche. The locals all went quiet as they paraded this cloche arou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First Week (NSFW)

It was John's first day on the ship and he was visibly excited. He had dreamed for years of being accepted into the Navy and now his dreams were coming true. His Commanding Officer welcomed him aboard and began to show him around the ship.

John learned where he would be eating, sleeping, and ...

Random blonde joke.

A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her fir...

Two bulls were standing in a long line discussing Donald Trump...

One bull complained "This line is taking forever. I hate the status quo." The other agreed "Donald Trump will make lines great again. I trust him to shake things up."

Then they got to the entrance to the Trump Steaks slaughterhouse and were very efficiently killed, gutted and cut into generou...

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant.

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant are sat around a table. In the middle of the table is a huge chocolate cake cut into 10 pieces. Suddenly without warning the politician and the millionaire each grab 4 pieces of the cake. Upon seeing this the journalist reaches ov...

[Long] The Genie's Experience. (Taken from r/WritingPrompts but works on r/Jokes)

"And now, for your final experience!" Exclaimed the genie, throwing his arms wide and his chest out. Before him, an elderly man stood, his fingers still clutches around the lamp. And though wrinkles cut into the man's face, and wisps of grey hair danced around his temple, the genie was his senior by...

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