the police officer said to joe, " we have found your wife cut into pieces, the arms, the legs and the torso, We are sorry for your loss."





"so no head?" joe replied

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

I love bacon sandwiches cut into little triangles...

Strip clubs are awesome!

What do you called ginger cut into cubes??

a Square Root.



... I'll see myself out

Whats long, black and hard to cut into?

The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Couple Owns the Only Florist Shop in a Small Town

Being a small town, they obviously have 100% of the business. One day, a group of friars opens up a competing shop on the other side of town. The couple aren't too worried though, as they make a comfortable living as is.

A month goes by though and the friars prices are so competitive that the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man

A ninety-one-year-old man went into the pharmacy and asked for viagra tablets, which he wanted cut into quarters.
The pharmacist said, "Sure I can do that for you, but you realise that a quarter of a tablet won't give you a full erection?"
The old man replied, "I'm ninety-one. I'm too old for ...

What's the difference between an onion and a baby.

An onion makes you cry when you cut into it.

A blonde orders a medium pizza

The cashier asks if she wants it cut into four or eight slices.

"Hmm... four. I don't think I can eat eight."

A Blonde orders a pizza

and the man taking the order asks, "Do you want it cut into 6 slices or 12?"

The Blonde replies, "You better make it 6; I could never eat 12."

A dumb guy calls to yell at the pizza man at his local shop.

“I got this pizza delivered and I specifically asked to have the pie cut into six slices. This pie is cut in eight slices!”



“What’s the big deal?” the pizza man wondered.



“There is no way I’ll be able to eat all these!” the man yelled.

I went to Spain for a holiday (Long)

and on the Sunday everyone went to the biggest restaurant in town. We went there too. The food was really good but during the meal I heard a drum roll.

The kitchen doors opened and the chef and maitre d marched out with a huge cloche. The locals all went quiet as they paraded this cloche arou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First Week (NSFW)

It was John's first day on the ship and he was visibly excited. He had dreamed for years of being accepted into the Navy and now his dreams were coming true. His Commanding Officer welcomed him aboard and began to show him around the ship.

John learned where he would be eating, sleeping, and ...

Random blonde joke.

A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her fir...

Cutting Pizza - A blonde Joke

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

[Long] The Genie's Experience. (Taken from r/WritingPrompts but works on r/Jokes)

"And now, for your final experience!" Exclaimed the genie, throwing his arms wide and his chest out. Before him, an elderly man stood, his fingers still clutches around the lamp. And though wrinkles cut into the man's face, and wisps of grey hair danced around his temple, the genie was his senior by...

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant.

A politician, a millionaire, a journalist, a brickie and an immigrant are sat around a table. In the middle of the table is a huge chocolate cake cut into 10 pieces. Suddenly without warning the politician and the millionaire each grab 4 pieces of the cake. Upon seeing this the journalist reaches ov...

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