Crocs Jokes - 22 Hilarious Crocs Jokes

Why does the Pope wear Crocs?

Because they're holey

What do you call a deaf man wearing crocs?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you.

Why do Crocs not go to heaven?

Because they have no soles.

I don't believe in hitting my children as punishment

So I send them to school wearing crocs and skechers and let other kids beat them instead

What form of birth control works better with holes in it?

Crocs

What do you get if you cross a river with tap shoes? Riverdance. What do you get if you cross a river with crocs?

Eaten.

I hate crocs

They’re super uncomfortable. Especially when you’re riding on their back.

Rich man shenanigans

There was once an extremely wealthy man who was known for his eccentric habits. One fine evening, he sent out an invite to all the young, able-bodied men of his city for a very "special" dinner, promising a grand prize for one lucky soul.

Knowing the rich man's generous nature, a hundred you...

If you arrive fashionably late in crocs...

you're just late.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a Bravest man in the world contest

There were three brave contenders that had to survive three missions and survive.
1# swim one lap in an Olympic pool filled with crocodiles.
2# shake the hand of a raged gorilla
3# the brains out of an 100 year little old lady.

First contender got it to the pool and was eaten al...

Crocs aren't something you want on your feet.

The shoes too.

Which type of shoes does Captain Hook avoid wearing?

Crocs

Engineer and anti-vaxxer

An engineer, an anti-vaxxer, and others were walking through the woods when they came upon a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that river safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural ...

Happy International Women's Day

During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand... the eccentric boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond... and swim to the shore. Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million... but if killed by the crocs...2 million will be gi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I had a penny for every time a woman called me ...

I wouldn't be able to afford another pair of Crocs.

A husband and wife went out shopping for essentials to avoid the corona virus.

After picking up a package of toilet paper, the husband glanced up and noticed another man walking towards them. The husband then shouted something incomprehensible , grabbed his wife by the arm and quickly ushered her into another aisle. The wife was upset as he had embarrassed her- everyone was l...

Fear the wrath!

Things that people who come to Australia are afraid of: Spiders, Scorpions, Snakes, Sharks, Crocs, Jellyfish, Octopus, Stone Fish, Feral Pigs, Giant bulls, Emus, and Kangaroos.
Things that Australians are afraid of: Magpies.

How do you fit an elephant in the fridge in three simple steps?

* How do you fit an entire elephant in the refrigerator in three simple steps?
* *How?*
* You open the door, you stick the elephant in, and you close the door

* How do you fit a giraffe in the refrigerator in four easy steps?
* *How?*
* You open the door, you take the elep...

A couple of unemployed tough guys see a pair of crocodile shoes in a store window.

The one turns to the other and says, "Look at that price tag! I tell you there's money to be made there!"

So they spend the next 4 weeks in Florida hunting crocs. They kill several, eventually running out of bullets and resorting to a knife at first, then their bare hands.

The firs...

What does Elvis wear on his feet when he can't find his Blue Suede Shoes?

His Jailhouse Crocs

Which are Voldemort's favourite shoes?

His horro*crocs*.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

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