Today is the final countdown...

4-3-21

Tomorrow will be the final countdown...

4.3.21

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Job advertisement

A company was searching for someone to pack items. The only requirement for the job was to be able to count to ten.

The first applicant comes in and is asked to count to ten.

>10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Well, that's backwards. Can you also do it in the correct ord...

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

Heโ€™s demanding a recount.

First, I got a tattoo on my Clavical that says โ€œ5โ€

Then I got a tattoo on my thoracic that says โ€œ4โ€

Then I got a tattoo on my lumbar that says โ€œ3โ€

Then I got a tattoo on my sacrum that says โ€œ2โ€

Then I got a tattoo on my coccyx that says โ€œ1โ€

Itโ€™s the spinal countdown!

If An Anti-Vax Kid Had a Theme Song, What Would it Be?

The Final Countdown

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My (American) grandfather's joke which I just shared with my (French) husband

There once was a snail named Sam who lived in a forest which had an interesting reputation; All the forest creatures would design elaborate vehicles and then race against each other every month. The snail loved to watch the races, and dreamed of participating one day.

However, everyone told t...

7 8 9.

7: <is about to eat 9>
7: Play some intense music to go with my food.
9: <plays The Final Countdown>

9 8 7.

What do you call a clock made out of records?

Its the vinyl countdown

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

The Millenium Falcon is taking off...

Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..

"10....8.....6.....4"

Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.

C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"

What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone?

"It's the final countdown"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were to be executed during a dictatorship.

Method of execution: Firing squad

The brunette was up, the gunmen readied their weapons, the captain started the countdown ... 3...2...1

The brunette exclaimed : "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

The gunmen were terrified! Fearing their impending doom at the face of such a natural phenomenon, the...

A mate of mine had just been hospitalised after taking an 'E'.

The security on Countdown don't mess about.

A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...

He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, poof! He disappeared without a tres.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist.

A talented but unemployed jazz pianist/composer was walking down Second Avenue in New York contemplating his sad life when he sees a sign in a restaurant window that says "Jazz pianist wanted, full time position." Elated at his good fortune he goes inside to apply for the job.

He meets the ma...

Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU.

Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?

Women on death row

Three women, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde are on death row for unspeakable crimes. Instead of the electric chair, they are to be shot by a squad of soldiers. The red haired girl is first, but she has an idea. The commander starts the count down: 3...2..1... The girl yells: "Earthquake!" Ever...

This one's kinda long

Quasimodo is getting a little old, and he's starting to think about retiring. So he puts out an ad in the Paris Times asking for prospective bell ringers to come meet him at the cathedral for an interview. One of the first applicants is a man who doesn't have any arms. Quasi says to him, "I'm sorry,...

One of my favorite jokes as a kid

3 men are being flown in an old-fashioned airplane with no windows. They're all enjoying the aerial view of the city when one of the guys finishes an apple, and throws the core off of the plane. The second guy follows his example, finishes his banana, and throws the peel off the plane. The third ...

The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records.

It's the vinyl countdown.

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