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Newscast Jokes

Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.”


The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!”

Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydivin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a newscaster say when he’s having sex?

This just in

Nothing is funnier than watching newscasters try to avoid saying sh*t hole

By saying as*hole

A blonde and a brunette are watching the news.

The newscaster says that two Brazilian civilians were rescued from terrorists the night prior.

The brunette says, “what wonderful news!”

The blonde disagrees: “I don’t know where they expect to move them to - do you have any idea how many a brazillion is??”

In tonight's news

Newscaster: a man was found unconscious today at the park. His identity is unknown, all the authorities can say is that his brief is really old and full of holes.

My wife: that's my husband!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Vegetative State

The other night, my wife and I were watching TV when the newscaster announced the death of Dr. Jack Kervorkian.

So we started to talk about suicide, assisted suicide, and the right to death. The discussion led to being hooked up to a machine that was keeping you alive.

I told her, "Hon...

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