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Conquests Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three women are bragging about their conquests in a bar

The first one says,"I am so loose, I can fit my fist in my pussy!".

The second one responds with, "Oh yeah? I can fit both my fists in mine!".

The third woman laughs as she starts to slide down the barstool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests.

He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appetite, and soon stopped eating altogether; perhaps due to the stress of frequent travel and an i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests...

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. "I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop...

At the golf course

A man was waiting for an open tee at a golf course when a stranger walked up with a set of clubs and asked,

\- “I’m by myself today - wanna pair up?”

The first man was glad to have a partner, so he agreed, and off they went.

The stranger turned out to be a salesman for male en...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sheep

A Welshman was asked how many sexual conquests he had.

He began counting them................and fell asleep.

A priest is confessing some nuns...

They're all in line before the confessional.
The first nun goes in and the priest asks: "What sins do you want to confess?".
"Well, father, I slept with that new young priest", she says.
"Oh, this is bad, my dear. And what did you do with him?", he inquires.
"I gave him a handjob with my...

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