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Romans Jokes

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?

Because X was always 10

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Two Romans have a Conversation.

"Hey man, what year is it?"

"35 before Christ"

"Who the hell is that?"

"I have no fucking Idea"

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When the Romans Conquered Britain

In the mid 1st century CE one of the problems they did not anticipate was the rampant fraud being conducted in the bronze trade. Tradesmen who shaped the metal would buy it from merchants who bought it from the miners in the form of bars of bronze, already mixed from copper and tin.

The...

The Greeks invented the threesome

But it was the Romans who thought of adding women.

What did Jesus say to the Romans?

Hey, can you put me up for a few nights?

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3500 years ago, the Greeks discovered that you couldn't get pregnant through anal sex.

700 years later, the Romans discovered that it also worked with women.

When in rome do what the romans do!

when in vegas do what the vegans do!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

When the Romans landed in Britain...

When the Romans landed in Britain,

The weather proved a teaser!

The emperor asked "Could this be rain?",

But the answer was "Hail, Caesar"

Romans

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says to the bartender "5 beers please."

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The Turks invented sex

and then the Greeks improved it by removing the sheep and adding lubrication.

The Romans perfected it by discovering that you could have it with women too, then the French ruined it by adding misogynistic condescension, and the British made it worse by adding shame; after that, the Americ...

Two Romans talking

Roman I: "There are X kinds of programmers"
Roman II: "What's programmers?"

Why did the Romans bring bleach to Jesus’s crucifixion?

To prevent cross contamination.

What did the doctors use to keep 4 Romans alive?

IVs

How did Jesus feel after the Romans killed him?

How did Jesus feel after the Romans killed him?
He felt pretty cross.

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The Romans had an unusual sexual fetish for Jesus

One time, they even nailed him on a cross.

Why did all the Romans go to prison?

Because their X’s were all 10.

The Ancient Romans were debating how to count things

Their city state was already hundreds of years old, and their Republic was barrelling down the pathway to Empire: but they still hadn't decided fully how to count things.

The Senate was a blaze of fury as populares and optimates rowed over the proper way to measure and record all things numer...

How do Romans make arts and crafts?

With Caesars and gluesticks.

People always say that the Romans didn’t handle the whole Jesus situation very well

I think they nailed it.

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It is said that sex was invented by the ancient Greeks, but it was greatly improved by the Romans.

You see, they discovered that you can have it with women too.

Why were Romans poor listeners?

Because they always wanted to be the SPQR.

What did the Romans say after a good crucifixion?

Nailed it.

Why didn’t the Romans reuse their crosses?

Because that would have caused cross contamination.

Why did the Romans hate wrestlers...

Because Rock beats Caesars.

It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...

Jesus was a repost.

Friends, Romans, Corn Futures Brokers,

Lend me your ears

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Why do Romans consider 190 to be the most attractive number?

Because it's CXC

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At school they taught us that XXX is Roman Numerals

At school they taught us that XXX is Roman Numerals.

I typed XXX on Google and the Romans came out naked..

Why didn't the Romans like puns?

Because they were too Punic.

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