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Doctor sees a pair of twins in the hospital cafeteria...

**Doctor sees a pair of SIAMESE twins in the hospital cafeteria...**



He walks up to them and says, "May I join you?"



The twins say, "Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

What music do siamese cats listen to?

Fur Elise.

Why did the Siamese twins go to England?

So the other one could drive.

My Siamese twin recently passed away

But it's alright, it was about time to cut him out of my life anyway

My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat, but my friend told me that they are really expensive...

So I bought two normal cats and glued their heads together...

Saw my Long Lost Siamese Twin Today

It was good to reconnect.

My Siamese girlfriend has just dumped me...

She caught me banging her sister behind her back.

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial.

I'm so sorry.

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My Siamese twin told me a hilarious joke earlier.

I almost pissed himself

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An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

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A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: “What’s that for?!!”

Jew: “That’s for Pearl Harbor!!”

Chinaman: “That wasn’t us, that was the Japanese!” To which the Jew replies, “Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they’re all the same!”

They put t...

A man walks into an antique store

and starts looking around.
Suddenly, he gazes upon the most beautiful bronze statue of a siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The store owner replies "It's $100 for the statue and $1000 for the story that goes with it." The man replies "I really don't care about ...

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I've no idea why I'm a virgin.

But I'm guessing it's because my Siamese twin is really ugly.

What happens when you put two and two together?

A Siamese orgy.

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"Give it here!" "No, it's mine!" "it's my turn!" "you had it last!" "come on gimme it!" "no way!" "but it's my go!"

Siamese twins having a wank.

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