Why did the Siamese twins go to England?

So the other one could drive.

My Siamese twin recently passed away

But it's alright, it was about time to cut him out of my life anyway

What music do siamese cats listen to?

Fur Elise.

My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat, but my friend told me that they are really expensive...

So I bought two normal cats and glued their heads together...

Saw my Long Lost Siamese Twin Today

It was good to reconnect.

My Siamese girlfriend has just dumped me...

She caught me banging her sister behind her back.

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial.

I'm so sorry.

There was a pair of Siamese triplets, but they wanted to be a pair.

So they cut out the middle man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Siamese twin told me a hilarious joke earlier.

I almost pissed himself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: “What’s that for?!!”

Jew: “That’s for Pearl Harbor!!”

Chinaman: “That wasn’t us, that was the Japanese!” To which the Jew replies, “Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they’re all the same!”

They put t...

My wife just caught me in bed with her sister

It's a risk you take with Siamese twins.

A man walks into an antique store

and starts looking around.
Suddenly, he gazes upon the most beautiful bronze statue of a siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The store owner replies "It's $100 for the statue and $1000 for the story that goes with it." The man replies "I really don't care about ...

I've no idea why I'm a virgin.

But I'm guessing it's because my Siamese twin is really ugly.

What happens when you put two and two together?

A Siamese orgy.

I got arrested last night for murder...

I can't remember too much, I was out drinking till late. Once I left the pub I saw two young men fighting. It took some effort but I successfully managed to separate them.

The judge says they were Siamese twins conjoined at the head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Give it here!" "No, it's mine!" "it's my turn!" "you had it last!" "come on gimme it!" "no way!" "but it's my go!"

Siamese twins having a wank.

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