Why did the Siamese twins go to England?

The other one wanted to drive.

Siamese cats are a great choice for a cat lover on a budget.

You get two for the price of one.

A Siamese twin said to the other, “Wish we could be separated.”

The other twin replied, “That makes two of us.”

Guys meet my Siamese fighting fish

He’s betta known as Trevor

What music do siamese cats listen to?

Fur Elise.

My Siamese twin recently passed away

But it's alright, it was about time to cut him out of my life anyway

My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat, but my friend told me that they are really expensive...

So I bought two normal cats and glued their heads together...

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We all know "little Johnny" is a troublemaker. This is his story. NSFW for language-is that a thing?

One day little Johnny comes to school and the teacher says "today we're going practice using the alphabet. I'll start at the beginning and I want all of you to tell me a word that begins with that letter and then use that word in a sentence." She says "alright, who can do A?" Several students raise...

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The Royal Newspaper

The Queen was overjoyed to receive a new royal pet, a tiny Siamese kitten. But one day, the kitten simply disappeared and servants searching high and low could not find her.

One servant thought he heard a scratching noise behind a small mouse hole in the wall, so the King ordered the hole to...

My Siamese girlfriend has just dumped me...

She caught me banging her sister behind her back.

Saw my Long Lost Siamese Twin Today

It was good to reconnect.

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial.

I'm so sorry.

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An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

During quarantine - Lonely at home

I am lonely at home quarantined:

Day 1. Oh, that's nice.

Day 3. I read books and rest.

Day 5. I bingwatched "Friends".

Day 7. I talked to the washing machine, but I had worse days.

Day 9. My washing machine is angry. I never had worse days.

Day 11. I'm fine…...

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My Siamese twin told me a hilarious joke earlier.

I almost pissed himself

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A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: “What’s that for?!!”

Jew: “That’s for Pearl Harbor!!”

Chinaman: “That wasn’t us, that was the Japanese!” To which the Jew replies, “Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they’re all the same!”

They put t...

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I've no idea why I'm a virgin.

But I'm guessing it's because my Siamese twin is really ugly.

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"Give it here!" "No, it's mine!" "it's my turn!" "you had it last!" "come on gimme it!" "no way!" "but it's my go!"

Siamese twins having a wank.

A man walks into an antique store...

and starts looking around.

Suddenly, he gazes upon the most beautiful bronze statue of a siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The store owner replies "It's $100 for the statue and $1000 for the story that goes with it." The man replies "I really don't care ab...

What happens when you put two and two together?

A Siamese orgy.

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