UPJOKE
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Commas Jokes

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?

They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.

If not using commas was a crime

would it result in long sentences?

A man has been found guilty of overusing commas

The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.

Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a very serious crime.

It usually resulted in a long sentence.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws and commas are the pause at the end of the clause

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My two favorite things are fucking my step sister and not using commas.

I also can't count.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Capital Letters Are Important

Capital letters can be just as important as commas and full-stops. For example, the sentence: "Let's help your Uncle Jack off his donkey" does *not* mean the same as "Let's help your uncle jack off his donkey".

The real joke is in the commas

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he sa...

I've got another example of the importance of Oxford commas:

I passed a headstone the other day which read, "Here lies Tyler Goetz, a lawyer and a good man."

 

I just can't believe the three of them agreed on such ambiguous syntax.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for /r/riddles but I think its more a joke

Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws

commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

How to cook crack and clean crabs:

Step 1: Use commas.

My four favorite things

My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.

My 3 Fevorite Things are:

Eating My Cats and Not Using Commas

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