What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

Why did the period and and semicolon break up?

Because they had nothing in comma

My mom got part of her colon removed.

Now she has a semicolon!

What do you call a dating site for santas?

The semicolon, it connects independent clauses

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do gastroenterologists and programmers have in common?

When you're missing a semicolon, shit breaks.

JavaScript is a lot like English;

No one knows how to use semicolons properly.

What did the English major have after getting intestinal surgery?

A semicolon

What do you call an intestine that's been partially removed?

A semicolon!

How do you know God didn't program the human digestive tract in C#?

It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed

Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon

Half a large intestine...

...would be a semicolon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

What is black and white and red all over?

A suicide note.

Edit: I already feel horrible
Edit 2: I left out a semicolon

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