UPJOKE
commapunctuationcolonquestion marktypographyadverbpronounfull stopsemicentdelimiterconsistentcommonwealthmillpfennig

Semicolon Jokes

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

What's the difference between a cat and a semicolon?

One is a pause at the end of a clause and the other has claws at the ends of its paws.

What do a divorce at the north pole and a semicolon have in common?

They both separate two clauses

The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...

It just wanted a little comma-raderie.

Why did the period and and semicolon break up?

Because they had nothing in comma

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.

After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.

Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.

Since the Pope had half of his colon removed…

I guess he’s left with only a semicolon.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,

so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

What does hemicolectomy surgery and a C Program have in common?

You know you've messed up, when there's an unexpected Semicolon.

What do you call an intestine that's been partially removed?

A semicolon!

What do you call a cancer patient who has colon cancer, but only a little bit?

A semicolon cancer patient.

What do you call a dating site for santas?

The semicolon, it connects independent clauses

I recently had a cancer scare. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

But thankfully it was only semicolon cancer

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed

Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon

JavaScript is a lot like English;

No one knows how to use semicolons properly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

How do you know God didn't program the human digestive tract in C#?

It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.

What did the English major have after getting intestinal surgery?

A semicolon

What is black and white and red all over?

A suicide note.

Edit: I already feel horrible
Edit 2: I left out a semicolon

Half a large intestine...

...would be a semicolon.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.