What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

Did you hear about the semicolon that broke the law?

Yeah, he got two consecutive sentences!

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...

It just wanted a little comma-raderie.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

Why did the period and and semicolon break up?

Because they had nothing in comma

My mom got part of her colon removed.

Now she has a semicolon!

What do you call a dating site for santas?

The semicolon, it connects independent clauses

JavaScript is a lot like English;

No one knows how to use semicolons properly.

What do you call an intestine that's been partially removed?

A semicolon!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do gastroenterologists and programmers have in common?

When you're missing a semicolon, shit breaks.

How do you know God didn't program the human digestive tract in C#?

It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.

What did the English major have after getting intestinal surgery?

A semicolon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed

Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon

Half a large intestine...

...would be a semicolon.

What is black and white and red all over?

A suicide note.

Edit: I already feel horrible
Edit 2: I left out a semicolon

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