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Semicolon Jokes

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

What's the difference between a cat and a semicolon?

One is a pause at the end of a clause and the other has claws at the ends of its paws.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

What do a divorce at the north pole and a semicolon have in common?

They both separate two clauses

Why did the period and and semicolon break up?

Because they had nothing in comma

The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...

It just wanted a little comma-raderie.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,

so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.

After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.

Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.

What does hemicolectomy surgery and a C Program have in common?

You know you've messed up, when there's an unexpected Semicolon.

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

What do you call an intestine that's been partially removed?

A semicolon!

Since the Pope had half of his colon removed…

I guess he’s left with only a semicolon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed

Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon

What do you call a cancer patient who has colon cancer, but only a little bit?

A semicolon cancer patient.

JavaScript is a lot like English;

No one knows how to use semicolons properly.

What is black and white and red all over?

A suicide note.

Edit: I already feel horrible
Edit 2: I left out a semicolon

What do you call a dating site for santas?

The semicolon, it connects independent clauses

How do you know God didn't program the human digestive tract in C#?

It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.

I recently had a cancer scare. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

But thankfully it was only semicolon cancer

What did the English major have after getting intestinal surgery?

A semicolon

Half a large intestine...

...would be a semicolon.

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