A movie theater in my town was recently robbed of over $20,000 of merchandise

The thieves apparently stole 5 popcorn/soda combos and 10 boxes of Raisinets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new meth cocaine combo called methaine hasn't been selling well.

I think it's because it smells like shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a nazi's favorite button combo on a keyboard?

Alt-right.

I'll see myself out.

The Heimlich Maneuver always sounded like a power combo.

⬅️⬅️➡️⬇️⬆️🅰️🅱️

What's Sub-Zero's favorite thing to order at a restaurant?

A combo

Id like to order a number 3 combo with a Mac n cheese side and large coke

Okay that will be $7.86 sir, what kind of drink would you like?

...

Most kids are like most combo moves

Just happy little accidents

A combo of two classics.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to your house.

..................

Knock knock.

(Who's there?)

The chicken!

What is the worst bad people group combo?

Ku Klux Taliban

A favorite joke of the Swiss (although any country combo will do)

A group of Austrians, embarrassed of the Swiss engineers, approach them with a request to build a bridge in the Sahara. "We want to build the most beautiful bridge, with perfect precision, workmanship, and quality to last a thousand years".

The Swiss Engineers, intrigued by the challenge, go...

February 29th, 2020

On February 29th of this year, something extraordinary happened.

I was walking across the road, head down, minding my own - when I heard it. This incessant, mechanical noise. Like spring-loaded footsteps. Real slow.

Far away, it came. Cascading against the city walls. A pneumatic sigh....

Hairstyle Competition

Hello, my name is John and I would like to tell you about the time I entered a hairstyle competition. You see, I have always loved trying out different hairstyles and colors. It is something I have put great effort into!

It was about February of last year that the idea of entering a hairstyle...

A man has been in a bar throwing them back all night.

Since he is a regular and never causes any trouble, the bartender lets him stay well past closing time.

The bartender has washed all the glasses, swept the floors, wiped the bar and tables down, and has closed down for the night. The bartender finally kicks him out just as the sun is coming ...

Last night a movie theater was robbed of $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal and a pack of skittles.

Met an older woman at a bar last night.

She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter combo? I said no.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight is my lucky night. I went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"

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Having a threesome with a mom and daughter

So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to m...

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My smartarse neighbours 10-year-old son challenged me to a game of Tekken the other day, in front of his mates.

I quickly roundhoused him and then finished him off with a killer combo in under 30 seconds.
Little fucker didn't even get the chance to switch the fucking playstation on.

Fastfood

Clerk: Number 27! Double steak combo with extra fries!

Man: Right here!

Clerk: Here you go sir, sorry about your weight.

Man: Oh, it wasn't long at al- wait...

Clerk: >:D

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John Lennon at the pearly gates...

St Michael looks at him and says, “I know you don’t I?”
Lennon shrugs and says that it’s possible, yes. St Michael nods and asks where he would know him from. Lennon drawls, “Well, I used to be in a band, you know?”
St Michael asks the name of the band and Lennon replies, “It was a little beat...

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